Remember the anime you really liked as a child? Or, the cartoon with a really funny character in it, really, really funny, and cool, and you wanted to be just like them? How about when you grew up and you decided to revisit your favorite anime or cartoon. So…..now what?

 

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What did they do to them? What happened to the great show you remember from childhood? Well, as it turns out, many shows we thought were so great as a child turn out to be good, but with perhaps the most retarded plot holes and premises. Let’s examine them, shall we? I shall be looking at anime, cartoons, literature, and American TV shows today. First, let’s start off with some anime.

First, let’s begin with Detective Conan, an anime that remains in many children’s hearts as their first intro to anime in Japan or China. So, what does it have going for it? Why, great characters, a good plot, and most of all….heart. Not to mention the fact that nothing has changed for the past 600 episodes or more with a plot that’s dying like Pokemon and a hero who never ages. Wait, what?

You heard me. So while Detective Conan is an incredibly innovative and creative mystery series, with some simply unforgettable characters among them, like Haibara and Kaitou Kid and the protagonist himself, the series itself relies on some pretty stupid plot twists. So, there’s like this great detective, Shinichi.

He’s a high school genius and an ace detective, at that. So one day, the plot rests on him going to an amusement park with his best friend, Ran, which quickly becomes the worst day ever when two men in black (that look like they stepped out of the movie itself) decide to beat him up and shrink him into a child with a convenient plot device drug-*cough, magical drug with no cure*. What? Flat WHAT, like TV Tropes says?

Are..you….freaking….kidding me? What the hell WAS the creator thinking when he came up with this bullshit? This sounds like something some fourth-grader would come up with on some acid or speed, not a professional writer. What kind of author degrades themselves by writing something so retarded and expecting us to take it seriously? It just gets worse from there.

He has to hang out with an idiot who can’t solve mysteries, so he has to give him heroin doses-just kidding, tranquilizes him so he can take over and pwn the old man at his own game with his deduction skills and so this kid sits there talking into a bow tie and no one notices. WHAT? How can we expect to believe something that farfetched?

Second, the love interest notices nothing unusual about said kid, despite the fact that he looks like her childhood friend, talks like her childhood friend, has same interests, same birthday, and same effing knowledge in detective skills?

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This….is just too much….even for anime, it’s just too stupid a plot to be taken seriously. Sure, Shinichi may be the most badass detective in fiction since Sherlock Holmes himself, but the contrived plot that makes us want to take it literally is the stupidest I have ever seen.

Oh, and to add insult to injury, every single case this kid takes, the fat drunkard moron with an IQ of 40 takes the credit like the dumbass he is and poor Shinichi has to live with this dumb a-hole telling him to shut up and hits him at every opportunity. Guess, what happens then?  No one helps him with his abuse. So, yeah, this anime may be great, but its plot is seriously retarded and you should feel ashamed that a writer even dared to publish a plot this stupid.

2. The melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

Let me put it bluntly: this anime centers around a  girl who is literally God personified, and can destroy the entire world if she’s bored with it or no one wants to take her seriously. God, are the writers even trying with this one? Why the hell are we supposed to root for a girl who blackmails people to get what she wants, molests a girl because she can, and has an idiotic personality? There’s just a simple answer in this one: hell no. Stay away from this one.

3. Yugioh

Okay, there’s this kid, see? He wants to be a duelist, but he’s too short and no one at school loves him, so he completes an ancient puzzle to get his revenge, and somehow becomes a better duelist when h’es possessed by his sexy alter ego and no one notices a thing. Oh, and card games are treated so seriously in this pile of garbage. This is why YGOTAS exists, to ridicule its very source.

4. Pokemon

Don’t get me started on this abomination.

5. Dragonball Gt

Trust me, you knew this was coming. You knew it.  So Goku is shrunk, Gohan is now a nerd, Trunks is now scared of his own shadow, and Pan makes everything worse.

 

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