Solo: FUCKING AWESOME (SPOILERS AHEAD)

I don’t know why people hated Solo.

I saw it and it was great.

Nuff said.

The new Han was excellent.

And I can’t wait to see more.

I’m not capable of writing much on Star Wars so I’ll leave you with that.

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Tokyo Ghoul Re: Better than Root A and Just as good as Season 1: 10/10

10/10.

That’s the rating I’d give this anime. I binge-watched the entire thing in one night last night, and just…it just captured the manga wonderfully. I have no real complaints.

It was awesome, beautiful, heart-wrenching and badass. I love how they stuck to the manga. The animation might be uneven here and there but I love how they did the story. I cared for the characters and cried over a character dying.

Overall, a huge improvement from Root A’s bullshit. Studio Pierrot outdid themselves with this one and I fucking love it.

10/10, must-watch. Ignore the haters, this one was good as fuck.

Looking forward to the next round, Studio Pierrot.

15 movies I saw that I didn’t like (comments disabled to prevent whiners)

Today, I’m doing something different, something bold, something extremely brave, which will undoubtedly get me tons of hate, tons of death threats…you get the picture.

Either way, I’ve always wanted to do movie reviews. So, here we are. Some of these movies are popular, so please do not send me hate for it, okay? I worked really hard on coming up with these ideas and want to see how people feel about it.

You know if you think about it, I grew up surrounded by movies. I was seeing movie ads on tv, on the videotapes I bought, renting movies and returning them to movie stores. I saw movies on tv, movies at the movie theater, even bought movies on VHS tapes. In those days, you really had very little internet, so being an indie reviewer was a bit difficult unless you had access to a professional magazine site.

I think the whole of the 20th century can be called the movie era, we went from silent films to talking pictures to radios, to movies becoming a multi-million dollar industry-to television, to telephone, to video games, to Internet, to apps and Iphones, and Ipads. That’s one hell of a change for people that grew up with small tvs and limited channels.

But you know, my era, the 90s was considered by many to be the transition point. I did play outside. I did watch TV. But I had absolutely no kind of device to transfer my thoughts onto like I do today. Did it make it lonely? Yes.

Does that mean I liked every movie I came across? Hell no.

There are lots of movies I like and lots of them that I don’t like.

So we’re going with fifteen. Fifteen is a good number-fifteen movies that I just didn’t warm up to like everyone else did. To me, movies are just that-movies. I don’t weep if a movie sucks. I don’t think of them as anything more than movies. That’s why most of the critique is going to be aimed at stuff within the movie itself-and my opinions on it as a child, because I watched many of these things as a child. That does not mean adult me now thinks it still sucks.

I’m just trying to be as honest as can be. So, yes, I know some of these are your favorites, but I’m just going to be blunt here.

15.  Elf (2003)

Okay, don’t look at me like that. Seriously. I know, everyone finds this movie to be funny and Will Ferrell to be the best thing in the world…except for me.

I just…didn’t like it. Is that a crime? I really just didn’t find it entertaining, to be honest. I don’t remember the plot except that it was utterly stupid, had an adult man dressed as an elf walking around, sleeping in a bed with younger-looking creatures (that’s not creepy enough!!?), acts totally weird while out in the human world, attract some woman, they fall in love and have equally weird kids, the end.

I don’t remember half of this movie, and that’s why it’s bad. See, since I’m autistic, if I enjoyed a film, I remember half of the jokes, the dialogue, etc, but if it’s bad, I remember nothing but a blank void and that is not normal for me. That is literally all that I recall about the film. Everything else was just extremely forgettable. I’m serious, guys, that’s all I remember of the movie. The rest of it was bad.

I was in high school at the time, I was bored, and that’s probably why I forgot half of the jokes. That was six or more years ago, so therefore I don’t recall a single bit of it. That sucks for me because sometimes I can remember stuff I watched like ten fucking years ago, real well. Some might wonder, is this deliberate? The answer is no: if something fails to grasp me then I don’t remember a thing about it.

Usually bad things just…disappear from my memory. Unless it was something truly horrifying, like Black Rock Shooter, Familiar of Zero or Haruhi, in which case I CAN’T FUCKING FORGET THEM. The fact that I’ve forgotten all about it says a lot, it just means it was more annoying to me than downright terrible. The main character was annoying, the other characters are a blur to me…frankly, I’m not that fond of Christmas movies. They’re often too cheerful for me.

14. Grandma Got Run Over by A Reindeer

Yes, this is an actual movie that exists and Nostalgia Critic critiqued the hell out of it, if you’d like to see his take, go here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0T5GebgQHFE

For my take, let’s go with this. Yes, I’ve seen this movie, and as awkward, stilted, and downright weird as it was, it at least had somewhat of a plot. It’s more bearable than a lot of the films on this list, trust me. And that’s…not saying much, let’s be real, because I’d still rather watch Good Burger than this (which I’ve never seen, but let’s face it, the two films are equally abominable in writing and structure.)

Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer is literally just a humorous song and should’ve stayed that way, but you know how weirdos like attaching weird, badly written movies to everything and marketing off of it, heedless of whether or not it really needed a movie to begin with. This movie has to be seen to be believed at how stupid it is.

It’s just…stupid.

Now the great thing about anime is when it does bizarre, unexplainable shit, there’s usually a reason given that makes sense. But bizarro plot twists and behavior have to be explained to some degree, and anime has the time to sit there and cook up a backstory and make it fucking good.

Movies, however have to squeeze the plot, characterization, etc into a two-hour dimension and make it stick. Surprisingly, sometimes this works, other times it doesn’t. But with kids, they figure they can throw the weirdest, most insane shit at them and it will stick, because kids like weird stuff, and then they forget all about it. This is problematic when you remember the times in class when people told us, “watch this and then answer questions based on it.” Well, I’m very glad I never had to watch this movie for school, otherwise I’d petition them to cancel school.

So, what’s the plot? Isn’t that an interesting question for the ages?! It centers around the song, it centers around Christmas, but…the whole rest of it is so bizarre that it doesn’t make any sense. The hero is the most annoying kid I’ve ever seen (also, as NC points out, he looks TERRIFYING. Those eyes, man…), and still believes in Santa at an age where he shouldn’t be believing in such things, and so his grandmother owns a store. His evil relatives try to convince her to sell it, but she won’t listen.

Then, Santa brutally murders her by smacking into her head-first with the sleigh, sending her careening into the snow, and then the reindeer stomp her to death with their feet, right?

No…?

Seriously? People have been killed by animals stomping on them before, and in general, a fucking hard metal object hitting a person head-first is going to kill them. 

Duh. No, unfortunately, it’s not the end of the story. The kid denies that Grandma is dead, even though, realistically speaking, his grandma is probably dead. Cousin Mel (who looks just like Daphne…if she happened to smoke some meth and take a profession in the red light district)…shows up and decides that she’s going to take Grandma’s store by bribing Grandpa into signing some papers that give her the right of ownership to the store.

She and her lawyer also sing while dancing in Hawaiian outfits, “Grandpa’s gonna sue the pants off of Santa!” Don’t believe me? Look here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91Hm8Hqp0ys

Not to mention the grandfather also starts dancing in a white outfit…there’s nothing prompting this stuff and wtf does a tropical song have to do with Christmas? Wtf.

Perhaps it’s just me who isn’t used to characters singing, but it should at least make some ounce of sense. There is sense in Disney when characters sing. There is no sense in this one. Here’s the clip of Grandpa dancing and singing, in case you needed more bizarro fuel to your day: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvXUlXQ8LQM

It gets weirder because Grandma wakes up at the North Pole, she’s got amnesia (of course), and she falls for Santa (wtf…please tell me I am remembering this wrong), and then it turns into a court drama, what the hell. The kid fools the adults, makes them look stupid, and winds up in a courtroom defending Santa Claus.

It’s literally so implausible that someone looked at this and thought that kids would find the idea of watching adults arguing back and forth to be entertaining. Nah, kids want to see cute animals, happy people and singing. Not something this tedious and boring. Cartoon Network used to love playing the shit out of this on Christmas, so I happened to tune in to the end of it one day and watched it, sort of.

Overall, a hilariously bad movie with hilariously over the top acting.

13. Atlantis The Lost Empire

Now, I know-this has a fanbase, and until I re watched it, I loved it, too. While this isn’t as bad as any of the other movies I’ve seen, (the writing is good, the characters are nice and the animation is beautiful), it’s more…forgettable. And that’s what’s wrong with the bottom row of this list of movies: they’re not criminally offensive or horribly offensive, they’re just forgettable movies with bland storylines and generic characters. They’re just average, but way below average.

Atlantis attempts to be above average, and it marginally succeeds, with a nice protagonist like Milo. In a way, its fatal flaw was that it tried too hard to be adult when its target audience was young children. That was why I remembered nothing about it until I re-watched it as an adult. It’s so adult that I feel no little kid would get it or understand it.

Half the characters are huge jerks, so that’s a redeeming factor, isn’t it?

But its biggest sin is that it’s boring, and this is ATLANTIS, MAN. One of the first myths/legends to inspire people to explore, and a tale of man’s arrogance getting their homeland swept beneath the waves, this should be anything but boring.

I did enjoy it to some degree. It’s actually not that bad of a movie and really doesn’t belong here, the only bad trait is that it bored me, not people who liked it.

12. 102 Dalmatians (2002?)

I remember nothing about this other than that I was utterly bored.

I was enamored with the cartoon series and the video game, Puppies to the Rescue, and the toys, but I was bored by the movie.

Do we have to talk about the movie?

I like Cruella, but in this movie, she’s just…horrid.

Ugh.

11. Casper

I’m sorry to be hitting childhood favorites here, but hey, sometimes criticism stings.

I can guess what you’re all thinking, this movie was brilliant. No, it wasn’t, it sucked.

I had taste as a child. I watched this and Dragonball GT once and then never again. I’m pretty sure that GT tape is exactly where I stopped at. Oh, that’s right, I think I gave it away.

It’s just a mean-spirited movie. Then it has one of the worst things to come out of the 90s and this is probably only my opinion: the fucking bathroom humor. You know what I mean, the annoying burping, farting and throwing up shit that came with movies like these and still manages to sneak its way through movies today.

Don’t get me wrong, I love that kind of humor in Youtube Poops. But it’s just not that funny when applied to movies. It’s funny when Hagrid farts in a Youtube Poop and says sorry about that, because it sounds authentic.

Characters with unshaven armpits, constant farting, burping and throwing up…these are some of my pet peeves of bad writing and lazy humor. I don’t find it funny, I find it stupid instead. Apparently, I’m not a true 90s kid if I don’t find it funny.

The ghosts are big, blubbery and terrifying, engaging in references that kids won’t get. This movie was bad mainly because the acting was horrid and flat. Though the little girl tried with her acting, she simply was not that good of an actor, and neither were most of the other souls in this movie. The dad? I can’t remember anything about him.

I just remember being totally annoyed throughout the movie.

10. Home on the Range

Now I know what you’re thinking: how dare I not like a mid 2000s film!

I remember nothing about this film, though, other than that it involved cows, a farm and that’s it. That already tells you it’s so good, doesn’t it?

9. Scooby Doo and the Ghoul’s School

This film is very popular among Scooby fans, so I might be ripped apart. Pray for my soul.

Good god, this movie is bad. It’s just plain rotten.

I remember having great movies of this show, of rewatching it on the vcr tape and having a love for Matches the Dragon. Surely that must make it a great movie, right? I rewatched it but every part of it was boring, flat, and unfunny.

8. Jumanji

I can hear you people screaming that I’m not a true Nineties’ kid if I didn’t love this movie, but hear me out, okay? This movie scared the hell out of me as a child!

7. Son of the Mask

This movie was so horrible that it bothered me to death, I couldn’t stand it.

6. Cars

I said it, I hate Cars! This movie is stupid!

The concept is clever but we already did this with Toy Story!

The ingenuity wore off.

The puns, the lame-ass country voices…it’s so annoying.

5. Frozen

While this isn’t the worst I’ve ever seen, it’s certainly not the best. The characters and story start off okayish and then degrade into generic movie tropes. It kind of is underwhelming how the plot twist makes no sense.

4. Grownups 2

I snored through this whole thing so that’s how you know it’s bad.

3. The Rocky Horror Picture Show

It’s entirely transphobic and stupid and I don’t see what’s so good about it. I don’t like fucking, as I’m ace-aro, and I find it fucking stupid. Yeah, comments are being disabled here as I don’t want people acting like crybabies over my opinions.

2. Osmosis Jones

God, the memories of this…and it was atrocious.

There’s only one movie way worse than this, I’ve sat through some garbage ones but this takes the cake for bad and forgettable.

The animated scenes are good, to their credit and the characters are good if uninspired-however the live action scenes are terrible and the father is such a terrible character that it ruined any interest I had in this film. Again, I don’t like barfing in films, it’s just stupid and not funny to me. I don’t remember a thing about this movie and I was eight.

1. Scooby Doo

The entire thing is too adult, the designs are creepy and the jokes are way too disturbing for a child audience to watch. I really fucking hated this movie as a kid. I can thank it for introducing me to some fetishes of mine (body switching rocks yo) but other than that, it sucks ass.

Matthew Lillard is good and the actors are decent enough, too bad that the plot stinks. Try Scooby Doo Apocalypse for a better version of evil Scrappy-doo and a much better, darker plot.

Also Scooby Doo on Zombie Island handled the split up gang better.

Honorable Mentions: These movies were as entertaining as sitting in a vat of acid, waiting for it to dissolve me whole.

-Star Wars the Last Jedi-yes, I dislike it. No, don’t call me a party pooper. It was cringe. I loved the Force Awakens and Solo. Solo rocks and I’ll write a glowing review of both it, Ready Player one and TG Re Season 3.

Breakfast at Tiffany’s-Racist as fuck and just unlikeable characters.

Lilo and Stitch-it just bored me to death. That’s all-nice characters, good designs.

Just Dance-This was really dumb.

Cats vs Dogs-This was really, really bad. Why did I watch this? Oh yeah, because I was a dumb kid.

Good boy-I remember nothing of this. Probably best that I don’t.

Underdog-Good god this was a stinker of a movie.

Probably disable comment s for all three of those.

 

 

 

More Ted Bundy speculations

You have not heard enough of my Ted Talks, have you? Recently, I’ve had to narrow my victim count down from 58 to 51 through process of elimination.

I’ve also discovered some pretty interesting things I’d like to share about him.

As I said, I believe he began in 1969~, however there is a case of a girl named Sheila Collins who was strangled to death in Iowa. That death remains mere conjecture, imo.

Anyhow, I think the first two times he killed were both mere chance. After that, he grew more and more confident.

I also no longer believe Lass was just an accidental victim.

Here’s how it stands: Ted confessed to a murder similar to that of Elizabeth Davis and Susan Perry in 1969 and the circumstances match up nicely, so we can safely say yes, they are Ted’s first victims. What’s next?

Why, Donna Lass. We know already Zodiac is too irrelevant to apply to her. Now, suppose when Bundy was rejected by his gf, he actually did come rushing down to California? He did, as a matter of fact. It’s entirely possible he encountered Lass and they had a fling together for a bit before he left her.

Then two years later, Bundy realizes she knows too much, so he sets off to see her at her job and greets her. She’s happy to see her old flame and talks to him eagerly. She’s too clueless so he easily lures her away and kills her, decapitating her and then burying her body under rocks and disposing of the clothes. This time her body isn’t found.

Here is where things get…interesting. In 1970, a teenager named Robin Graham vanished off a highway in California, mere months after Lass vanishes. She was waiting for her car to be towed, and then she just vanished. Now, aside from Bundy doing his policeman routine with DaRonch, who else would he have done it with?

What if he played the good cop role here? She would have been perfectly willing to jump in his car, and like all his other victims, she has long, dark brown hair parted in the middle, and is pretty and also around the age range he targeted (18-20 year olds.)

At first, it was just 2+ a year. But then, as time goes on, Bundy becomes more unable to resist the urge to kill. In 1971, he discovers his lineage in Burlington, or he visits Burlington. Rita Curran, a pretty nurse, is found bludgeoned to death, raped and strangled. What if he saw her and thought of his former gf and just snapped…and the next thing you know, she is dead? Bundy confessed that at first, he tried to control himself, and he did a good job with Liz.

But, it seems like he let himself go one too many times in 71. Oddly enough, 1971 has no gas receipts for Bundy, which is rather odd.

Two potential crimes that could be Bundy crimes include the case of Lynne Kathryn Schulz, who was last seen alive on December 10th, 1971, in Middlebury, Vermont. Like the others, she was seventeen, with long brown hair and it was parted in the middle. Her last activities are described here: http://charleyproject.org/case/lynne-kathryn-schulze

“Lynne was last seen leaving her dormitory on the Middlebury College campus in Middlebury, Vermont on December 10, 1971, the first day of final exams before Christmas break started. She apparently stopped at a local health food store, All the Good Things, and bought dried prunes, and was seen eating them outside the store at 12:30 p.m. She said she was going to take a bus to New York, but the bus had already left.

Lynne returned to campus and was seen in her dormitory. She left her room at 12:55 p.m. She was on her way with her friends to take a final exam in her English Drama class when she said she had forgotten her favorite pen and was going to go back to get it. The exam was scheduled for 1:00 p.m.; she never showed up.

At 2:15 p.m., Lynne was seen standing on Court Street, across the street from All the Good Things and the bus stop where she’d been earlier. This is the last time anyone ever saw or heard from her.

She left her identification, checkbook and all her personal belongings behind when she vanished. She may have been carrying $30 in cash with her. Campus security was alerted to her disappearance two days after she was last seen, but her parents were not notified for a week.

Does any of this sound familiar? Let’s examine some of Bundy’s other victims, some of whom “disappeared” while out doing things: Susan Rancourt, disappeared while out taking some clothes to the laundry, Brenda Baker disappeared while walking to a dorm hall, Melissa Smith disappeared on her way home from a pizza place, Sue Curtis disappeared after intending to come back and brush her teeth…this is extremely common for Bundy victims, to be out somewhere and doing something when he kidnapped them.

As we know, he was in Vermont around that time. She had a hairstyle that he preferred. That Durst guy was found not guilty, so let’s focus on Bundy. She seems like the kind he’d lure in easily. He talked about luring girls in and failing. But he never talked about the ones that succeeded now, did he? And no man was better at making sure girls vanished off the face of the planet like Ted Bundy was.

Overall, I think she definitely was most likely one of his victims. Opportunistically chosen, he probably waited for her, planted some ruse and then lured her away, and bashed her head in or strangled her. Or else he stabbed because he was still stabbing people for a bit.

Joyce LePage is an interesting case. Found wrapped up in a carpet with stab wounds in 1971, she was on the University of Washington campus. Bundy was known for stealing things, and curiously enough, the movie Bundy shows him stealing a carpet, perhaps a nod to this potential victim? It’s only a possibility, but another person could be the killer easily. I consider the Bundy link to be very tenuous here.

Now, here we skip ahead to his active days in 1974.

In Wyoming, four girls were missing and some were found murdered.

Two girls named Carlene Brown and Christy Gross, both 19, disappeared on July 4th, 1974. One skull was found with head injuries from a blunt instrument. Ted seems very likely here, what’s more damning is the gas receipts are missing for that very day. Where was Ted?

The other two cases, I checked and Bundy was in Washington, so we can eliminate him on two of those. However, the head injuries thing really checks out with Bundy. This was also a week before Lake Sammamish. Bundy was really daring and slick here. Who’s to say Wyoming is out of the realm of possibility? He pretty much made Washington, Utah, Colorado, Nevada, California, Oregon, and Idaho his killing ground.

I have to wonder if maybe one of these two is the actual “hitchhiker from Idaho” he mentioned. Maybe he misheard them and thought they were from Idaho when they were from Wyoming. She does seem to be an actual victim Ted forgot about. I just found the whole thing to be really fascinating.

Something I have to rule out as being Ted’s is the case of prostitutes going missing in 1971 in Texas, even though the skulls were found brutally beaten, raped and strangled, Ted wasn’t in Texas and apparently Keppel asked him about these crimes, which he said no to. The only states I know with certainty that he was in are: Pennsylvania (as a boy and at Temple University), Vermont, New Jersey, (he had an aunt there), Colorado, California (he went there multiple times, went to Stanford for a year), Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Florida, Utah, Nevada, etc. I’ve heard rumors of Arkansas, but I searched and I could find no missing persons reports for that time period that matched him.

California is mostly guesswork, but I assume he was in California and met Lass (also he confessed to one murder there), he was pulled over for a bad license and fined. He also went to Stanford there and had a friend there he visited. He also was there around the time that Robin Graham vanished. He also was around there (unproven but some claimed he worked at some factory in 72-73 near where Santa Rosa victims were found.)

The description of, height of and manner of Arlis Perry’s death make me 99.9% certain that she was one of Ted’s kills. It’s amazing he was “pardoned” when the whole thing is his handiwork, from sticking candles in her-well, you know, (he did this like twice), to smashing her head in with an ice pick (which amazingly enough was in his toolbox when pulled over), strangulation and rape, and positioning the body to look like Satanic imagery could’ve been Bundy’s attempt to deflect it from himself by blaming some other group.

If so, then this was his boldest killing, bolder than even Chi Omega. She was killed on a campus filled with people and left dead in a public church on a university. He was sighted by people and et he got away with it. Amusingly enough, this fits into the timeline of after Wilcox was killed, Arlis died on October 4th, which could mean he drove back to California for a breather afterwards, encountered prey and bam afterwards it was back to Utah. People forget he was an itinerant traveler. This was no problem for him to achieve.

Anyway, I can’t think of anything else new, so that’s about it.

 

Thoughts on Bourdain’s passing

I never watched No Reservations, but I thought he seemed like a friendly, cool guy. So I’m saddened to hear of his passing and presumably he was quite popular. Sorry to hear he died and my condolences to his friends and family.

Why jokes about tragedy are disgusting and morally appalling

I might be called a joke killer for this.

But frankly, I have no respect for people who sit around throwing jokes about suicide, depression, or tragedies or disasters about carelessly. As if there’s something hilarious about people dying. There isn’t, hint, and there’s something wrong with finding humor at the idea of people suffering.

I don’t care if being sensitive makes me the number one “joke killer.” I’m just sick and tired of feeling sick to my stomach because yet another asshole makes a sick joke about people shooting themselves dead-or because the same anime that is racist and morally sickening is once again popular-I just want to laugh at something without it making me want to vomit.

I don’t know why, but I don’t find indiscriminate killing of people, nuclear wars, depression, tragedies like 9/11, Holocaust or Titanic to be hilarious jokes and memes. I find people who find them funny to be tasteless, horrid and just plain tactless. There’s never a reason to find suffering funny. How dare you.

Grow some empathy, and maybe find jokes that aren’t rooted in someone else’s suffering, first, and then I’ll laugh. I’ll laugh if someone else isn’t being made the root of the joke. Second, it’s rude and highly offensive to mock the dead, so think about that the next time you make a disgusting 9/11 joke. It wasn’t funny to those of us who had to watch it happen-I saw it on TV and it wasn’t fucking funny, it was horrifying.

Remember the pain and suffering the next time you think it’s oh so cute to ridicule it. Remember the screaming people jumping to their deaths, remember the suffering people suffocating in the towers, people screaming as the planes slammed into the buildings, people crushed, people burned to death, people trapped on the elevators and dying slowly, people dying on phones, pleading for their lives, and the despair of a nation struggling to save people who died.

Remember all the pain and suffering school shooters inflict. Remember what the survivors might say upon hearing you mock their suffering. Remember the bullets, the pain, the screaming.

So, in short, if you make any of these jokes, aimed at minorities, at animals, at children, at tragedies-you’re not my friend and I don’t want to be associated with you. I don’t laugh at pain, I laugh at bad writing and bad characterization. I don’t laugh at senseless violence and heartless humor.

You wouldn’t like it if your kid was killed and people were laughing at their deaths. Now think about someone’s dead kids every time you laugh about how funny Sandy Hook “was” (hint; It wasn’t). Think about the suffering. That makes the joke die, right? It should be possible for you to make a joke that teases lightly or doesn’t ridicule human suffering.

Call me an oversensitive idiot, if you will. I’m just sick of sick humor and gross people mocking death. Death isn’t to be mocked. It’s very serious stuff. I’m waiting for the day horrid 9/11 memes die because there’s nothing funny about ridiculing the way 2,000 plus people died and suffered.

Grow up.

The rise and fall of Gohan: how did such a great character become so bad?

Note: I don’t hate Gohan, I merely have my opinions. And this is going to be a strongly reworded post (as my original post was way too strong for the net). So haters are not welcome, drama queens stay away and honestly, this is just one of my salty rants on what happened to my favorite character. (Even though it might not seem like it with how angry I come across. (Strong anti-Buu Saga Gohan and onwards, you have been warned.)

Originally written: 4/19/17-edited 4/16/18

This little guy was one of my favorite characters as a kid. I looked up to him, found him to be an inspiration, and loved him so much. But what really happened? How did he get screwed up so badly?

Hoo boy, are we in for a long, long rant on one of my favorite anime and where I think To/ri both won and lost with his characters.

(Again I am not responsible for any butthurt issued by this post. You clicked on this post, therefore you take all responsibility for looking at this.)

This is a topic that has been on my mind for…a while, at least. Ever since I saw Resurrection of F in movie theaters last year, my mind was spinning gears. But one look at that sequel to this series that does not exist was enough to make me think otherwise and spring this controversial analysis out.

So yeah, don’t read if you’re an Adult Gohan fan, because boy, this will not be pleasant for you.

 

As you can bet, I’ve had to hold back a little bit.

I know this is going to be a controversial post. But really, some of them tend to be, because it’s my opinion on a character that I-that other people like. It’s not even a bash/ing one, so much as it is an analysis.

As you all know, I’m a huge DBZ fan. I love the series with a burning passion. I love almost everything about it, yes, even the dubs. I love all the dubs equally. I even have a poster of it hanging up on my wall. (There will be a huge rant coming up about why I love DBZ so much, so you’re getting two posts in one today.)

However, I’m just utterly puzzled by what happened. It was one of my first anime as a kid. Yes, even the Japanese version, I did watch that.

I wasn’t necessarily 100% a fan, though. Unlike most of the fans, I don’t have a strong opinion of either Super or Broly. It’s all good for me except for GT. But we pretend it doesn’t exist.

In the past, some critics have pointed out how certain characters have been left behind in recent years, with the focus going mostly on the Saiyan characters. In many ways, they have made some good points. Like, when was the last time Yamcha did anything, when did he win a fight?

When was Tien last able to complete a fight? In the Cell saga, afterwards he stands around and does nothing. These characters do nothing now, think of Chaozu, the poor guy hasn’t done anything in battle since possibly early DBZ.

After all the SSJs  were introduced, they just stopped being relevant. But what happens when it’s one of the main characters, who was so important to the plot, who starts to suck for no real reason?

I think all of you can tell who this article is going to be about and why.

One of the most important characters in the entire manga: Gohan. That’s right. If you really, really enjoyed where his character headed after the Cell saga, do not read beyond this point, because this article is, frankly, my honest feelings on this character and that I feel Toriyama fucked him up.

Basically, Gohan is the firstborn son of Goku, who we are introduced to in the beginning of D/B/Z, (Gohan, not Goku.) He’s half-human, half-Saiyan so he’s much stronger than a regular Saiyan.

He has powers, but his mom encourages him to be a scholar. Right away, we see an interesting contrast between him and his father, whereas Goku loves fighting, Gohan doesn’t have that same love toward it.

So it’s neat to see this kid be a pacifist while also trying to deal with his Saiyan powers. Then he also has an extreme power. The problem is that this doesn’t come into play very often.

But in the beginning, Gohan was a pretty badass character. He had some pretty great moments. When he was a toddler, he headbutted Raditz in the face and escaped his own prison pod and fought back. Then when he was like three or four, he was fighting Garlic Jr. (non-canon movie).

He goes on to do some pretty amazing things, I mean, Gohan is understandably upset and sad when his father dies. He goes on to become a warrior and is trained by Piccolo.

I mean, it’s understandable to me why he would react the way that he does. His father dies and then he has to be the man of the house when he is just four years old.

And it’s completely understandable to me why his mother would want to keep him away from all that danger. However, her child she has is not just a human, he’s also a Saiyan, which means this kind of thing is natural for him. But of course, I would be terrified, too if some random alien comes and steals away my son and tells me not to worry, because I still would.

At first, Piccolo is really, really cruel to Gohan. But then he grows to care about him, because of Gohan’s kindness. He goes on to show signs of being a tough warrior, surviving out in the wilderness without a problem. The main issue is that as many times as this characterization is brought up, he never delivers when it’s needed.

That’s probably one of the most disappointing things about Gohan’s character, we’re told multiple times throughout the series that he is incredibly strong, he has lots and lots of power. So he fights, and then the Saiyans come. Of course he’s gonna stand there and shake, he’s a freaking kid, so any criticism I levied at him there would be unfair, and he’s also half-human. And he’s also not been exposed to combat until now (something that people forget when comparing him to his dad, lol).

He’s gonna be scared upon seeing these people he’s just gotten to know getting hurt. He’s gonna be freaking out about this, all of these are reasonable reactions, and once again Gohan is only half. Kid Goku was full-blooded.

But realistically speaking, what does he do during this fight? Not much. He mostly just stands by and watches people fight. One could say this is how he learns how to fight, but Piccolo has to chew him out multiple times for not getting involved and at one point, he doesn’t bother attacking Nappa when he’s supposed to, which leads to the dick living and ending yet more of his friends’ lives.

He backs out of it and that winds up with Piccolo taking a blow meant for him and dying. Way to go, Gohan. He mostly just stands by and whimpers. It’s realistic, but as Nappa points out, he’s still a Saiyan. He should still have that instinct to fight inside him, he should still be able to get back up and fight.

So whenever this happens, I have to concede that he’s entirely right. I mean, little Trunks was able to get back up and fight despite being only half-Saiyan, even while he was getting the crap beaten out of him by Androids. Human or not.

It makes you wonder if Chichi even let Gohan get any ounce of training at all as a child. This idea is terrifying to me-as in, she does realize Goku isn’t gonna be around forever, right? Despite her wanting him to be normal, she also needs to realize her kid ain’t normal, so the whole saving the world thing matters a whole hell of a lot more than his education. He can’t go get a job if the world’s destroyed now, can he?

It’s like his training with Piccolo is the only training he’s ever gotten. Think about that. Look at little Vegeta and then compare him with Gohan. Sheer difference in terms of fighting ability. But maybe the whole “fighting for your life” thing makes them stronger? Idk (glances at Future Trunks and Vegeta).

I just wonder if she prevented him from learning /anything/ and this is again, one of the biggest flaws in the series. The first contributing factor to Gohan not being a good fighter is Chichi. She is a loving, well-meaning mother who tends to overprotect him, and the end result is he doesn’t turn out to be a good fighter because of her meddling.

I’ve got nothing against her, I think she’s a great character, I think she doesn’t deserve the hate that she gets, but by god does her overprotection of him make no sense, but because of that, Gohan can’t fight back.

And when he does, it’s only for like five minutes. He does the Masenko, it’s impressive, but once again, he’s reduced to normal, with Krillin having to fight his battles for him. Now, Krillin and Gohan have by far one of my favorite relationships in the series. It’s really adorable, their friendship is.

It’s like we’re watching the series through his perspective in a way. I mean, we were watching the series through Goku’s eyes, now we’re watching it through his son’s eyes. A lot of the story takes place through him while his dad is off training or being dead.

It’s really sweet to see him meeting his dad again and there we see he can detect his dad’s ki changing, a good sign that he is using his abilities. The Goku and Vegeta fight really changes when Gohan exploits the fake moon, turning himself into an Oozaru and owning Vegeta. If only he had this ability more often, nope we’ve gotta destroy it because how dare Gohan have relevance and powers!

His best moments…come and go, honestly. At this point, he’s fought off some aliens who came to destroy their world. His mom should be impressed. Instead, she’s all angry at him for fighting. What the fuck? Lady, your kid saved your ungrateful ass from dying and the first thing you do is get mad at him for fighting!? Also, he saved your husband from dying, too.

He’s a Saiyan. This is what they do. It’s like pulling a superhero aside and telling them, look you’ve gotta stop Superheroing. She gets angry, starts scolding him and this is where he actually stands up to her for once in his life and tells her, that he’s going to fight regardless of what she thinks. We need more of that assertiveness, Gohan.

Look, lady, you realize you live in an advanced society, where your son is gonna be with powerful people like Krillin (at this point in the series, he was powerful) and with Bulma, a long time friend of hers, who she knows would never let Gohan down. He’s got people with him.

If he were a normal five year old, I would say that she is completely right and side with her on this issue. But once again, she refuses to acknowledge that her life is not ordinary and never will be. Her son is not an ordinary person, and as long as she continues to deny this, his development will suffer.

Here she is, being completely controlling and stupid. All her husband wants to do is recover and fight, as a Saiyan. She should be used to that.

The way that she treats him sometimes come across as smothering at best, as abusive at worst. (Seriously, she SCREAMS when he is a Super Saiyan and shames him for it. What kind of mother does this? Sure, most parents might be a little puzzled at how their kid’s hair changed colors, but to react this way is freaking absurd.)

I mean, I’m not asking for him to be the totally ruthless SSJ2 form all the time. But I am asking for him to become kinda like Future Gohan, a badass nerd. Someone who’s not afraid to fight, and not afraid to be himself.

Like I was saying,  Gohan goes to Namek with Krillin and Bulma. There are quite a few filler scenes here that show his power. Gee, it took us halfway through the series to come to that conclusion!

He puts up a good fight against the Ginyu Force and then winds up with his neck broken. Once again, he is put out of commission, and this happens way too often for it to be a coincidence. However, he shows that he has a good, strong sense of justice like his dad and that he respects all forms of life.

Then Frieza shows up and it’s here where Gohan is at his best.

He watches Piccolo get tortured and Krillin, too, and then he loses it. Then he just screams and fires a bunch of blows at Frieza and fucking owns him. He just goes on to kick him and punch him and do a lot of amazing shit.

He continues for five minutes, then he stops once again. Too bad Frieza has another form, which makes his fighting utterly pointless. Congratulations.

Gohan mostly stands by as Frieza fights his father. He’s the one who tells everyone about Goku being a Super Saiyan now, he occasionally throws an energy blast his way.

I’m sitting here, thinking, you know at that point, if anyone deserved to be fighting in that moment it was either Vegeta or Gohan. And I know, I know, it was a good four-hour long fight we got from the two.

I mean, Gohan got to know all these nice people-they’re dead. Dende? Dead. Krillin was one of his friends? And now he’s dead. Piccolo was injured-should have been more than enough incentive for him to go SSJ.

That would have been interesting to see.

If anyone at all deserved to defeat Frieza, it was V/egeta. That whole fight should have been his victory. Vegeta was the one who was controlled, beaten up on, and used by Frieza, he was the one who carried all those hopes and dreams of his race when he was beaten and worn down to the last ounce of his life.

He watched his home planet get blown up and knew his life was over as he knew it. Goku only knew of the Saiyans as a distant dream. Vegeta lived and breathed that name all the time as he was being used by Frieza. His whole race was destroyed by this same man. If anyone deserved to get redemption now and redeem himself, it was Vegeta.

Goku just lost Bardock. To him, what did he know of it?

Nothing.

The author’s main fault is that everything has to be Goku’s victory or else. This meant far more to Vegeta but sadly he never gets that moment of vengeance he’s wanted for so long.

That was his fight.

Then we move onto the Garlic filler which a lot of people don’t like, but it does show Gohan fighting against his friends and doing a good job of being a badass. They all fight, they all kick ass.

Then the Android saga…do we get to see Frieza fight Gohan? Nah, Trunks takes care of that. It turns out Gohan was powerful in another dimension but he dies anyway.

Gohan winds up, showing his signs of brilliance here, but he’s pushed aside and expected to only work on his studies instead, even as the world is in danger. When he actually does start being a badass, it’s the Ce/ll games.

At first, it appears that Vegeta will be the one who will defeat Cell. But of course, we can’t have that happen. We can’t have anyone upstage Goku. The one thing I love here is how both Vegeta and Trunks get owned, as if saying if you aren’t Goku, you’re fucked.

I do love how Trunks is a badass kid who never takes chances with his enemies.

With Gohan it feels like we saw more of his Saiyan side than his human side. Sure, we know he’s a pacifist and he loves animals. What else? On the whole, he comes across as a neglected character. The Cell games is where his development skyrockets. He trains with his dad and shows signs of promise.

Does he do any more training? Nope, let’s sit back and relax for ten days. Even Vegeta questions why he stopped training. As it turns out, Vegeta is fuckin’ right in that if you don’t train to defeat the fucking enemy, you’re dead.

So then the Cell saga happens and Go/ku quits training, what the fuck did he think would happen? He gets his ass whooped by Cell, who understandably is disappointed in him.

Then Goku winds up sending out his ten-year old son out ot fight one of the most dangerous evils of all time. Wow, that’s as shitty as fighting the Elite Four and then sending out a level five Pokemon as bait. Not only that, he also gives Cell a senz.u bean just because it wouldn’t be a fair fight. Bullshit.

Gohan nearly dies while Goku stands by and watches like a jerk. Piccolo rightfully calls him out on it. Gohan is not a normal human, however, and these kinds of rough battles that Saiyans go through make them hella strong. So by him not going through these fights, it doesn’t make him strong enough to defend the Earth. He doesn’t unlock all the power he has.

It’s only this one point where he becomes someone badass. Which sucks, because the whole fucking series is telling us oh hey, he’s someone amazing. So Gohan’s friends are attacked by Cell jrs. It turns out to make him a badass, you have to torture the people he loves. All right then.

That’s sadistic, but let’s go with it. 16 dies and Gohan becomes this motherfucking badass. For the first time, he’s in touch with his Saiyan side. It’s really great to see someone other than Goku kicking ass and destroying the villains. (Trunks has destroyed too many at this point.)

Then Gohan gets too cocky.

Cell decides to blow up the world and this results in Goku fucking dying. And then this is where the bullshit starts. Goku decides to stay dead, forgetting he has a family that needs him, namely his wife, her unborn kid, and his ten year old kid. He stupidly decides instead of leaving Cell out in space to explode he’ll take him to King Kai’s, instead, getting the protector of this world killed. Nice work, dumbass.

Gohan gets upset but for some reason, he doesn’t fucking snap. I mean, remember how Goku acted after Eighter died? He was just fucking pissed. No, Gohan has to be helped by Goku to defeat Ce/ll. While it is touching, this was the beginning of the horror that would be unleashed.

If you had told me that one day, Saiyans would have to wear glasses, I would tell you to fuck off. If you had told me that one day, one of my favorite characters would forget how to go Super Saiyan and get utterly owned, I would tell you to quit fucking around with me.

All right, let it be said that “retarded” is used in the sense of something extremely stupid, not as in referring to mentally ill people. And also, I am not neurotypical and autistic, so I think I have the right to reclaim this slur in any way I choose, thanks. I don’t believe in PC culture, so I’m sorry if I curse, use the B word, etc, but that’s how I write. Don’t like, don’t read.

And again, if you’re here to cause drama, go elsewhere. The actors need to stay on the stage where they belong. This ain’t their place so they can leave.

So…WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT? What is this fucking bullshit?

When do Saiyans need to wear glasses? When do they stop being badasses?

This is how you destroy an utterly good character and replace him with a piece of trash. This is how you destroy your own writing.

This is where the extremely negative opinions come in. Do not read if you LOVE adult Gohan, or love G/T, or if you love Saiyaman, because I do not love those parts of him.

So, Goku dies. Seven years go by and then the Buu saga, the beginning of the clusterfuck of bullshit that DBZ later becomes, starts. You know what I’m thinking of here, right?

As I’ve said, Gohan has to rely on Daddy to get anywhere. Now, this leaves the role of defending the Earth up to Gohan. So really, what I was expecting to see was to see him taking responsibility as a teenager and becoming a total badass Saiyan. Like, you know, overcoming his grudge with Vegeta, learning to respect him and training with him, because this is the only Saiyan mentor he has left.

Goku is dead, his bro is too young to help, and Future Trunks is back in the future. You’d expect him to train with Vegeta and become more informed so no one has to die like his dad again, so no evil villains will ever be able to walk onto his planet and wreak havoc without him being there to put an end to it.

You know, what’s ironic is…ChiChi stops shaming Gohan for being a Saiyan. She actually trains Goten and teaches him to fight. You’d think she would also allow Gohan to train and fight as well. No. For whatever stupid, fucking reason, this doesn’t happen. Gohan decides to not fucking train.

What the heck?

I get this whole scholar thing is soooo important, but honestly, you’re not living in the world of Naruto, where you can make people instantly agree with you by saying you’re bringing peace. In Dragon Ball, you gotta make people see your side by beating them up. That’s what this world has told you since day 1, yet you refuse to learn.

Redemption doesn’t come about just because you smile and say you forgive them. Yeahhhh…so whatever kind of BS this is, it’s not DBZ, I’ll tell you that. Gohan decides to be a loser. He decides to not freaking train, for whatever stupid reason. Hell, Vegeta points this out to him and he’s like, “I DON’T CARE, IT’S NOT LIKE ANY BAD GUYS ARE GONNA COME INVADE EARTH AGAIN!”

Like…how is this even a realistic reaction? Your father dies, expecting you to not just look after your mom and your bro, but the entire fucking Earth. That is your job. You are the strongest warrior on Earth. What the hell is going on in your head?

Yet you don’t bother to take up that role.

I was expecting that we would see a Gohan be like Peter Parker, you know, a serious badass nerd who can still study and fight and kick total ass while doing so. Spiderman wouldn’t be as fun if he weren’t also a guy who trains a whole hell of a lot.

Same with Danny. It wouldn’t be fun if he just slacked off from ghost fighting and didn’t exchange witty banter.

And he doesn’t even have the special powers Gohan has. He’s just a regular kid. Gohan’s got his work cut out for him. Hell, he should be at SSJ three level by now. No, instead he’s become a nerd only.

What was Tori thinking when he wrote this? It’s completely obvious to me that the author wanted the series to end way earlier than this. I mean, if we’re reading about Gohan as a character, he’d better be the badass hero he’s been built up to be.

But I was wrong, because Gohan is suddenly a cheery, light-hearted idiot who isn’t serious about fighting in the slightest. Instead, studies are all that matter. What the hell kind of shit is this? I mean, while he is interested in studying, that just runs completely contrary to what he said at the end of Bojack Unbound (non-canon) but still this is what he should have stood for.

“I promise Father, I’ll protect the earth in your absence!”

Part of protecting that Earth means training, and that’s what Vegeta kept on trying to tell him. You don’t train, you get weak as shit. Try that shit in the Pokemon games. Try to battle the gym leaders without leveling up your monsters. You’ll get your fucking ass handed to you. The game tells you, you cannot stop. You have got to keep on fighting. Stop, and you’re fucked.

Vegeta was right. By not training, Gohan fucked up the Earth. By not training, Gohan allowed for Buu to come back to life by not being strong enough to defeat any of the two mofos who wanted to do that shit in the first place. By not training, he has pretty much guaranteed that Gt will happen and he will continue to suck as a character.

Basically, Gohan could have made the Buu saga a hell of a lot easier on my nerves than it was. Yes, Gohan going to high school is hilarious. Yes, seeing him live and interact with normal children is comedy gold. No one’s denying that.

But this just feels really out of place with what we’ve been told before. First of all, Gohan is the person that destroyed Cell. Why is he not known as a hero? Why the hell wouldn’t the Z-fighters step up and take the credit for their actions instead of allowing some cowardly shithead to take all the credit, shitting on Goku’s name and on Gohan’s fight while he sat by and did nothing but crap his pants from fear?

Now this inclusion to me is also where his character starts to massively suck, not only because he is being lame, he decides to dumbly reveal himself out in public, and then he has to be a superhero, for whatever moronic reason this filler plot decides to give us, we have to go with it, because reasons.

I don’t fucking know why. I mean, can’t he move fast enough as a Saiyan so regular humans can’t fucking see him? Wasn’t it clearly established that Saiyans move so fast that regular humans cannot see them, as shown in earlier arcs when only the Z-fighters could see Trunks fighting King Cold and Frieza and Bulma was unable to, as shown when Goku could barely be seen by any of the ordinary fighters during the Cell Games because they were moving at superhuman speed!

THIS IS CLEARLY ESTABLISHED. How the hell can he forget something as simple as this? Yet he’s a total dumbass about it. His classmate finds out about him.

Sigh…Videl…who I absolutely cannot stand, makes this arc much worse than it already is with her annoying personality. Her relationship and subsequent “romance” with him is so one-dimensional it feels like it took place in Naruto rather than DBZ.

It squashes both of their characters, in my opinion. It makes Videl go from this badass warrior to this housewife who never does anything ever again. This romance between the two is completely unnecessary. We don’t need Gohan falling in love, or if so, don’t do it in such an unrealistic way that we lose interest. It should have been developed slower. Instead, they “hate each other” and now they like each other!

Bullshit. I came here to see him kick ass and defend the Earth, not parade around in some stupid costume saying stupid shit and acting like the goddamned Ginyu Force who were annoying enough already.

Not run around reducing the act of being a Saiyan to nothing more than a joke. It’s just like, what the hell happened to Gohan? It’s like he was replaced by someone else. Seven years seriously didn’t cause him to have mental trauma over seeing his dad die, or make him less trusting in the public in general after they just completely ignore the fact that /he/ rightfully won that fight and instead, threw his name in the mud for some worthless hack who couldn’t fight a brick wall.

(Yes, I hate Hercule. Slaughter me.)

Three years didn’t dull his senses when Frieza came back to Earth, but suddenly seven years is enough to neuter him completely and make him this ridiculously shallow superhero?

Seriously. 

So then on top of that, we have Gohan get his identity exposed. After this, the competition starts. And no one recognizes him as the boy who won the tournament all those years ago. And no one calls Hercule out for being a self-centered, egotistical jackass who didn’t give a damn that a kid was suffering and instead stole all his glory.

Gohan was more than worthy of earning that respect. Instead, he earns no respect.

Anyway, the tournament starts, he goes Super Saiyan, he goes in a few fights and then that’s it. His dad comes back to Earth and yet he’s not angry at him in the slightest for abandoning his wife and two sons for seven freaking years. Get real.

Even pacifist Gohan has gotta snap and call Daddy out on his shit sometime. So then Gohan discovers he’s some sort of “mystic.” This goes absolutely nowhere as he gets some new stupid outfit and a sword, yet goes on to be utterly owned and absorbed by Buu. Congrats, Gohan.

You were Worfed. You became Yamcha.

The degradation continues at the end of the series, as now Gohan is married to Videl with a child. You would think that would make him twice as determined to continue training. Nope, instead he’s decided to become a full-on moron! He’s decided no more fighting, that’s for idiots. That’s for young people.

Hey, do you see the Kais say we give up cos we’re too old? Do you see King Cold, ole King Cold, the very evil soul, give up on conquering galaxies just cos he’s an old alien? Do you see Dr. Gero quit Dr. Geroing just cuz he’s old? NO.

What the hell is your excuse, man, you’re just in your twenties. Then we see DbGt and Gohan is now a total fucking joke of a character. He now wears glasses…yeah, because Saiyans’ eyesight (which is superior to human’s, by the way) CAN FUCKING RUN OUT!

There’s no conceivable reason other than bullshit for me to believe half-saiyans need glasses when they are aliens with perfect vision, and wouldn’t glasses get in the way?

There’s no reason for him to need glasses.

Why does he need a job when he could’ve inherited all that money from the Cell Games? He could’ve been living off that shit and made Chichi rich.

Why doesn’t he just live with Bulma? Why does he need to work?

Or why isn’t he a teacher, something that’s at least specific to his field of interest?

He and Videl are totally weak shits, which allows them to get easily controlled. Yeahhhhh. .

Then, ROF killed any belief I had in Toriyama’s ability to write Gohan and made my anger reach to the boiling point. Gohan says he doesn’t even know if he can go S/uper Sa/iyan anymore. 

WHAT?

Then Gohan gets knocked out by Frieza without doing anything. How can you get away with doing the Worf effect to one of your most powerful characters? Why would you do this?

Why would you reduce him to a total loser?

Not being a badass is problematic. We were promised he would be a total badass and a strong character. No, instead, last second Goku has to have everything, let’s have Gohan become useless. Instead, Gohan becomes a moron, because the utterly stupid plot now calls for it.

He can’t fight anybody.

Why? I don’t fucking know.

It’s probably because the author couldn’t stand that the hero’s name in the story wasn’t Goku anymore, even though he promised everyone that it was Gohan’s turn in the spotlight. But no, we can’t have anyone besides Goku being the hero.

That might also be the reason why I hate that movie, because Vegeta cannot destroy Frieza without blowing up the world. WHAT. THE. FUCK.

VEGETA DESERVED TO KILL FRIEZA. FRIEZA FUCKED UP HIS LIFE. HOW YOU CAN JUSTIFY HIM FINALLY GETTING REVENGE ONLY TO FUCK HIM OVER IS DISGUSTING.

That was his fight.

Do you have any idea how glad I was to see that fight happen? Part of his motivation was that he was there to fight and destroy Frieza. Yet we never see this happen. Goku has to steal that victory away from him.

For him to not be able to achieve that is beyond bullshit and transcends into downright fatuous territory. I know Gohan is a pacifist, but to have him completely give up on his blood and his lineage?

BULLSHIT.

He has that blood in him he can’t ignore. All Saiyans have the urge to fuckin’ fight in them! I don’t care who you are, even Trunks wasn’t a wimp. He kept on training every single day of his life. I don’t understand why Gohan found it okay to slack off, but it made him into a total wuss, so he can easily be owned by every other DBZ villain.

It sure is a fucking shame, because we were told Gohan was gonna be someone powerful, but no all the upgrades go to Goku. He becomes super powerful. But Gohan does nothing with these awesome powers of his.

Look, if I had superpowers, I’d be doing my best to enjoy that shit, okay? Like what’s wrong with going Super Saiyan? Why would you give that up, dude? Being a Super Saiyan is by far one of the most amazing things ever!

He’s so weak at this point that a robber could kill him with a gun. The fuck happened to him, was he replaced with a clone of some sort? I’m gonna go with this is a fake Gohan and the real one died. There’s no way to me that Chichi would be like Goten can fight but Gohan can’t. Maybe he’s the eldest member of the family and the most capable of protecting them in case anything happens.

I mean, come on? Who does she suspect is gonna protect her? Why does she hold back his growth like this?

So, we can tie Gohan’s ruination as a character to a couple of characters, first off Goku, since his death set off this chain reaction of BS. He doesn’t necessarily need to be 100% like his father. I’m not saying he has to be, I’m saying it’s disappointing to be so invested in a character only for them to do nothing. I’m okay with him studying, but not if it ruins all the other traits he’s gotten up to this point.

I have nothing against Gohan being himself. But whenever he ceases to fight, it just disappoints me. How can he expect to protect his kids when he’s this weak? I mean, how can you be a Saiyan with such a great ability then throw it all away and waste your time in an average job?

Gotta tell you something, but that’s boring.

Ok, before you go around saying I don’t care about his happiness, I do. I’m happy he has a wife and kids. But that shouldn’t get in the way of his being a fighter. It should be an inspiration to him to be a fighter, you know what I mean?

I just know if it were me, I would be motivated to freaking fight to keep my friends and loved ones out of harm’s way. Yet he’s okay with not training and allowing his wife and kid to be totally vulnerable.

But no, he’s a nerd for no real reason.

I don’t know, is it wrong for me to want him to be partly himself and like Future Gohan? A serious badass who can also be a nerd? Because I’d have no problems if that’s how it had played out. But I have every objection to the show writing him out of it and downplaying him, even though it has built him up to be someone great for so long.

It’s great to see him get married, but did we come to see DBZ as a literal soap opera with marriage and kids? Nope. We come here to see them fight and to enjoy their bonds with each other.

That’s what DBZ is about.

DBZ at heart may be about some of their family lives, but most of us just wanna see the characters fight. You know, Goku didn’t become a total idiot just because he got married.

He didn’t become a weakling just because he had a family. What I’m asking is, if he’s just half-Saiyan and they’re more powerful than pure blooded Saiyans, why isn’t he doing anything with these amazing abilities of his? Why doesn’t he open a dojo and teach the humans of the world how to defend themselves?

I mean, I ask you to imagine this. I mean, as bad as the Naruto ending is, at least there are still ninja. It stresses that no matter what world they live in, they might always need to have ninja around. Naruto’s kids are ninja. That makes sense.

Then you know, in Bleach’s ending, Ichigo’s kid is a shinigami and that makes sense. It’s still going in line with the logic of the world.

Somewhat.

The fact that he refused to understand his heritage also proved fatal to his character. I mean, man, it’s your fucking culture.

Quit shrugging it off and acting like it’s nothing when it in fact is so much more than that. That’s the last member of your culture that you should be training with. Vegeta can teach him stuff. It’s a wasted opportunity.

Fans are all like oh don’t hate on Adult Gohan, don’t hate on Buu saga, I’m like, why shouldn’t I call him out for being a pathetic excuse of a character? I should hate on Toriyama for building him up and then wasting his character. Then we have him not giving a shit about doing any of the things he promised he would do. He promised to defend the world. He’s not doing that. He promised to continue his heritage. He’s not doing that, either.

Instead, he’s fucking around, pretending to be human. He just cares about flying around like a superhero. He doesn’t care at all about spending time with his dad’s allies and he acts like it’s been fucking forever since he last saw Piccolo and I’m thinking wtf.

You’re telling me he would honestly hole himself up in his room for years and never bother to drop by and say hi?

What kind of shittery is that?

It’s just like you threw away everything that was good from his character. Maybe because Goten and Trunks reform themselves, maybe because they’re still training, maybe because Chibi is at least a good fighter. Not as good as his future self, but hey he’s holding his own.

Then three, like I said, Chichi. I wouldn’t say she controlled Gohan so much as she just brainwashed him into thinking he didn’t need to learn anything more about his father’s heritage or his past. Instead, he should try to forget he’s an alien.

IF it were me, I’d be eager to learn that shit, man. Seems to me Gohan wants to forget that, but you can’t deny who you are. Goku was pulling the same shit that Gohan was doing. Think of what Raditz could have taught both his relatives if he hadn’t died.

Can you imagine how interesting Gohan would be if he was raised by Raditz and Raditz stuck around to educate both of them about their Saiyan ways?

I mean, hell, Gohan might have been more badass and it would be nice to see Raditz redeem himself. We don’t get that at all. Instead, we get nothing but filler bullshit. Let’s look at Quatre a kid who doesn’t have powers like Gohan. He’s a pacifist but he’s anything but a fucking wimp.

For some reason, Saiyan’s eyes can go bad.

This guy is not the real Gohan. So instead of the “Paul is Dead”, we have the “Gohan is dead” theory, coined by me. Before you go dismissing me as not a true Z fan, let me say that I adore Gohan. I just hate that zilch has been done with his character since the Cell Saga.

Haise out.

(No Hate is welcomed on this post.)