Ah, yes, Harry Potter….the nice school of wizards and witches….the ideal place to learn how to use magic in the world of dull, ordinary Muggles who misunderstand you and your magic and you make bestest friends forever who will always stick by your side no matter what….not to mention the world full of demons, soul-sucking monsters, a school with an apathetic, if not downright manipulative headmaster, and a terrible atmosphere to teach students….say what? Yup, you heard me. Hogwarts is by far one of the worst fictional schools ever and here’s why it sucks eggs and why Dumbbelldore is an ass.

-Why the Wizarding World sucks-

The Wizarding World is full of dumbasses, and the isolated atmosphere only serves to enhance their stupidity. Okay, so they coexist with the human world. You’d think they would:understand more than just their own worldview and try to understand ordinary people like us, they would widen their knowledge of contemporary events and learn basic human skills so if they need a human job they can just apply for MCDonalds.

1.-Their racist ways towards Muggles-

No, they don’t do that. They don’t even bother to learn anything at all about our culture. They figure their way is ‘best,’ and the way they treat the ordinary humans in this travesty of a series is lukewarm at best, and condescending at its worst. Take, for example, the way they treat Muggles if they happen to see wizards. They simply wipe their minds of them without any second questions. Oh, there’s a psychopathic warlord of evil on the loose and he could come after humans, too? Just let them not have any knowledge of it at all and let them die. Their lives are expendable. This means if the Wizarding World is thrown out of their own society by Voldemort, they’re screwed. Try rooting for Voldemort, at least he has some knowledge of Muggles.

Oh, and if you thought the Dursleys were bad, look at it from their point of view. Petunia’s sister dies and doesn’t even bother to leave her a note-much less explain to her what happened. Dumbleass has Harry and decides, without considering that maybe magical parents would be better suited than those who hate wizards, and decides to just ditch a baby on someone’s doorstep. He doesn’t bother to meet with them in person and explain anything. He just decides to leave Harry there, and he’s honestly stupid enough to believe being forced to take care of a child will endear them to him.

2. Their lack of modern technology. There is no excuse for Rowling to not include modern technology. So they have owls….what else? Can they use the telephone or email to keep in touch with their muggle parents and let them know how they’re doing? No….instead they don’t use technology….because the wizards have their heads so far up their asses that they again think anything used by ‘Muggles is worthless.’ Yeah, the parents can’t even know what their freaking children are up to or what they’re learning. They’re kept in the dark about everything.

3. Their mob mentality is horrifyingly similar to a dictatorship.

The Ministry of Magic rules over everything, from the freaking newspapers to the freaking school. They can watch your use of magic at any time and anywhere, and you’re watched every time you use magic. You can be fined for using magic to defend yourself against soul-sucking monsters, you can be in big trouble if you happen to sympathize with Muggles or their plight, and the newspapers can lie all they want to about everything and no one bats an eye. There’s no freedom of the press, there’s no freedom of speech…hell, just because the protagonist says Voldemort, everyone censors him, as if saying a name is a horrible offense.

Not only that, the WW gangs up on everyone who is different from them. If Harry Potter voices his opinion, he’s silenced and forced to obey the crowd and join the brainwashing.

4. Finally, the vow of Secrecy is absurd.

Muggles aren’t stupid. Eventually they’re gonna discover that there’s a secret cult-er, society operating under their noses and wiping their memories. What would your reaction be? I’ll bet you would be furious that this society thinks of you, an ordinary human, as being less than they are and not allowed to know anything. Even the fucking Prime minister of England can’t tell anyone about Voldemort being on the loose. He can’t warn them about Death eaters, he can’t do shit because of this fucking retarded rule. Also, the wizards are such idiots that they don’t even realize how useless a wand is in attacks. You get the wand thrown out of your hand, you lose. Muggles have….snipers, drone airplanes, atomic bombs, nuclear missiles, tear gas, grenades, suicide bombers, AK-47s, rifles, machine guns, artillery, submarines, the Navy, tanks, and surveillance on radar and airplanes and cameras. Not only that, they can identify who you are simply with cameras and take pictures of your face.

If drones dropped bombs over Voldemort’s hideout, the Death Eaters are toast. Nothing can stop an atomic bomb that annihilates everything in its path, nothing. Everything and everyone gets vaporized in a second before you can even react. It’s hard to believe that such terrifying weapons exist, but it’s the truth. You just drop nuclear missiles, and some of these babies can go at 15,000 miles per hour. Yeah, you can’t whip out your magic stick and chant a spell to deflect it….he’d be history in an instant. If the Muggles declared war against this hypocritical society that treats them like trash, we’d win without a doubt. We’ve got advanced technology, knowledge of our enemies, and we’re physically stronger. A Muggle battling a wizard if they knock their wands aside….the wizard is toast…there’s no defense classes taught against physical assault…you’re history if you run into a Muggle and lose your wand.

-Hogwarts is a terrible school-

1. They don’t let the parents know what their kids are doing

Could you imagine a more horrifying set-up than this? Your child goes off to a magical school for seven years and then when they come back to you Muggles, they can’t tell you what they learned, how they learned it, and you don’t get a report card and you can’t meet with the teachers to see how your child is doing. You’re physically and emotionally isolated from your children for seven years.

Yeah, when Muggle children go to school, they’re away from you for five days a week, seven or eight hours a day, but they come the hell back from school and you actually know what your freaking kids are doing every day due to them telling you and the teachers keep in touch. There’s Parent Teacher night where the parents meet the teachers, discuss how their child is doing with them, and discuss what they’re learning and if there are any problems going on.

Not so with Hogwarts. You can’t come see your child if you’re a Muggle. You can’t come wish them a good school year because Muggles aren’t allowed to see the magical train. You aren’t allowed to go buy them books, so they have to go by themselves (a frightening aspect in and of itself for parents) and if they get bullied, abused at school or molested, or attacked by monsters, they can’t tell you. You won’t be able to help them at all.

2. The school is completely incompetent at keeping its students safe

This school is about as safe to be in as a school in the Middle East. Every year, a teacher either loses his or her position, has a mental illness, is insane or is working for the bad guy and monsters attack all the time, and the teachers do nothing to keep the kids safe. Hermione, Ron and Harry can waltz off at any moment and kill a monster like the troll in Book 1 and they won’t be in trouble for it. They’ll get rewarded, despite the fact that they don’t know what they’re doing, are just kids who are beginners at magic, and shouldn’t be out anyway.

Oh, and did we mention that nearly every year, some of the student population either gets petrified, murdered, or otherwise traumatized and the staff has a horrible way of dealing with these problems? Cedric Diggory in the tournament gets murdered, and despite all these risks, the magical barriers, charms and secret passageways aren’t enough, they don’t bother to host guards around the clock at the school (or else they have soul-sucking ones.)

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Everyone knows these guards are the best at protecting children. Despite their threatening demeanor, they’re actually quite tame. What could possibly go wrong?

Not only that, the teachers don’t bother to do weapon checks (you know, with all the killing going on, you think they would have a security system and require students and staff to be screened in case they have weapons or deadly spells on hand) and they don’t. The teachers also are stupid and don’t question things like bullying and things like being injured on the field or having your soul nearly sucked out don’t matter.

3. The subjects are completely limiting

You can take a number of courses, such as…..Charms, Transfiguration, Herbology, Defense against the Dark Arts, Astronomy, Magical Runes, Arithmancy, Care of Magical Creatures, Divination, Ghoul Studies, Alchemy, and….Botany….what the hell?

Since when did Divination make any goddamned sense? It’s basically cheap parlor tricks and typical chicanery that New-Age ‘spiritualists,’ and ‘astrologers’ use to swindle their customers into believing bogus baloney. Yet these children are taught to accept signs of ‘reading your tea’ and if it changes colors, something bad will happen as absolute fact. There’s no questioning of this nonsense. The children just accept it as 100% genuine and absorb it like the brain-dead sponges they are.

Ghoul Studies….alchemy, Magical Creatures, Transfiguration….how the hell will that help these kids out in the real world? Oh, look, you can turn a mouse into a teacup. That’s sure to win over your boss in a job interview and your job will surely last if you bring your pet griffon to a business meeting for show and tell. You’re sure to astound your superiors at a job meeting when you give a powerpoint presentation about ghosts and how they live. You won’t be fired.

What these kids need to learn are real, important subjects, like math, reading, writing, English, History of the Muggle world and most importantly, science and technology. If they don’t know about bacteria and viruses and what they do to the human body, once they come out into our world, they’re screwed. They’re gonna die of a little cold if they don’t know what it is, how it came to be, or how to treat it. I’ll bet you wizards die of treatable ailments because they still believe in herbal crap solving ‘non-threatening’ things like cancer, heart disease, and diabetes.

Oh, and how are they gonna learn how to drive a car, ride a bike or obey traffic signs? How are they going to pay in dollar bills when they go out to eat food? How are they going to cook for themselves when their magic makes food for them? Fred and George even tell Harry it’s ‘pointless’ to cut food with real utensils, because magic can solve all their problems for them instantly. They won’t know how to pay their bills, how to pay their taxes, how to clean up vomit, and how to do anything practical because they’ll still be relying on their wands.

4. The teachers suck.

What kind of wonderful teachers do they have here? Let’s see.

A sociopathic teacher who bullies the weaker students and never bothers to help the other students, and practices favoritism for his one ‘house.’ He bullies children and psychologically abuses them and gets away with it. He also torments Harry and gets away with it.

…..A dwarf who can’t stand up properly and is as dumb as a potato….a toad who gives the class elementary school books to read, a talking ghost who only talks about goblins, a crackpot who believes her prophecies come true and whose fashion tendencies put Al Yankovic to shame, a narcissist who was a fraudulent idiot, and an imposter who turned a student into a ferret and abused him.

You can safely expect the teachers to look the other way when bullying is committed.

5. The racism and prejudice of the Hogwarts houses.

Students here are not all placed in one grade. Instead they’re segregated-*cough divided* into separate ‘houses,’ based on what a talking hat tells them they’re good at. They’re not even allowed to select a place for themselves. You’ve got four houses, each segregated from the rest, each sleeping and eating in different areas, and each believing the other is better than the rest of them.

There’s the place for the brave but stupid jocks, Gryffindor, the place for the nerds and smart people, Ravenclaw, the house for the ‘evil’ people, Slytherin, and the boring, uninteresting Hufflepuffs. What makes this terrible is that the prejudice and racism in this is easily seen. The Slytherin house is almost always seen as the house for bad guys, despite the obvious fact that being in a ‘house’ does not determine one being good or evil. Yet Harry’s choice to join Gryffindor and only talk to Gryffindors and only speak to them is seen as the right thing. The other houses must be too stupid to comprehend the Gryffindors.

Oh, and the rivalry between fellow houses is perfectly okay, and favoritism is allowed. If you’re a Slytherin, expect to be treated like crap because the school hates you. Now you know why Hogwarts sucks. Take some common sense pills and move out of this shithole and go on to another school.

Ah, My Little Pony, first a series of successful shows and movies in the 1980s, and then becoming more of a girly show in the 1990s. Finally, after a series of horribly contrived tv shows, we finally get the best one yet, My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic, where the girls are not just girly stereotypes, where the characters are very funny, three-dimensional, and consistently entertaining and teaching young children good morals. I say this, even as a young adult who is a fan of the series, because, deny it or not, bronies, MLP is aimed at little girls and young children, despite some of the adult humor, shoutouts to other series, and occasionally over-the-top messages.

This series brings us great episodes like, “Lesson Zero,” “A Canterlot Wedding,” “Friendship is Magic,” “Too many Pinkie Pies,” and so on. However, the sad thing is that MLP: FIM has quite a few stinkers in its entourage of the good, mediocre, and just plain bad. These episodes are bad not just because of quality lacking, but because of OOC moments, because of cruel and warped aesops and because they were just plain distasteful. Enjoy and feel free to leave comments and/or feedback.

10. “Ponyville Confidential”

Ok, so we have yet another episode centered around some of my favorite characters, the Cutie Mark Crusaders. So, as usual, they’re trying to earn their cutie marks and nothing is going right (like usual, also) so Miss Cheerilee decides to offer up a position to be an editor in charge of the newspaper that everyone reads, (and who else is in charge of it but the snooty Alpha Bitch Diamond Tiara, a girl with no redeeming values whatsoever besides being a bullying bitch) so the CMC sign up for this. First, the stories they start writing are boring, so Diamond Tiara starts wanting them to get gossip, so Snips and Snails are the first objects to humiliate. They get stuck together, so the CMC photograph them, while gleefully doing so, which is rather OOC for them.

So they do that, and DT is impressed with them, so she wants them to do more and more gossip articles for the column, which is later dubbed “Gabby Gums,” they start saying things like ‘Rarity is really ugly,’ or Applejack is really poor. I don’t really remember what the articles were about, because I only watched it once and will never watch it again. But by the end of it, Gabby Gums becomes a sensation almost overnight and everyone loves her and supports her, and then sooner or later the CMC realize their mistake, so they go to DT and tell her they want to resign because they realize that they’ve done wrong, and DT snaps and tells them they can’t quit or else she’ll reveal embarrassing photos of them, (also known as blackmail, which is illegal, bitch, illegal) and eventually they wind up coming out to Ponyville.

Then, this is where things get ridiculous. Okay, you’re considering the fact that they’re children, right, and the fact that they were bullied and coerced to do this by Diamond Tiara, which means the hatred of all of Ponyville should fall on her. She’s the one who forced them to write mean things in the first place, you’d think that that would happen. But no, instead they all blame Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Applebloom….three….little….children. They are cruel and outcast little kids who were forced to do mean things without even asking them why they did things.

Get this, they were even being shunned by Twilight and her friends. Applejack won’t even let them explain. Sweetie Belle mentions offhand that they might have to stay in their clubhouse forever. Some of you might say whatever to that last part, but that last part is particularly unnerving, since it reminds you of real-life young people and dealing with bullying. What real life activity do young people turn to if adults won’t believe them, they’re shunned by everyone and bullied and ridiculed……you know the answer here, don’t you? Teenage Suicide. Yes, I thought the episode was going to head in that direction. You know, for kids!

So, the moral of this episode is, when bad things happen, if you’re forced to do bad things against your will, the person who made you do them won’t be punished, you will! Another thing is Rainbow and the others are just unnecessarily mean and cruel. Consider how terrifying this is. Wouldn’t you be afraid that if you did something wrong, you would be mistreated? The lengths to which Ponyville goes to mistreat them is absurd. What has their reaction been in previous episodes? In Lesson Zero, they listened to Twilight and regretted laughing at her. The moral of this episode was disgusting. I hated it. I won’t watch it again. Sure, DT gets covered in ink at the end, but is there any punishment for her blackmail? No, nothing happens to her besides that.

9. “The best night ever”

This episode should be retitled “The worst night ever,” because what this episode consists of is relentless, ruthless heckling of the main characters, which is uncalled for. As a victim of bullying in my childhood, I am a strong anti-bullying supporter and any tv show that encourages it is disgusting to me. So this episode is rather inconsistent. Princess Celestia invites the main six to go to the Grand Galloping Gala, a ball. Twilight wants to go so she can be with Celestia, her idol. Rainbow wants to meet the Wonderbolts,  Applejack wants to hawk her goods so she can make some money, Fluttershy wants to tame some animals, Pinkie wants to throw a party and have some fun, and Rarity’s reason for going is so she can score a date with a man. What? Sorry, but WHAT? You’re making a girl character in a show for kids act like a prostitute? What is wrong with you, writing staff? Sorry to Rarity fans, but at times, Rarity acts like a completely sexist stereotype of how girls are “supposed” to act.

Rarity, being the stupid, spoiled idiot that she is, decides to find a male to bed, and practically gets some of her neigh-bors to drive her there in a carriage, because she’s too afraid to walk. Oh, yeah, she’s totally not arrogant. I know she personally asked them, but that still reeks of a lazy rich girl, and of a Mary Sue archetype. Sues always draw guys to their sides no matter what. Thankfully, she’s about to be knocked off her high horse.

My god, how arrogant is she? Good god, her ego is so major, it makes Trixie’s look minor. Like an Ursa Minor, or maybe an Equine Minor? Bad joke, I know. Lulz.

Anyway, the end result is it turns out to be a living hell for everybody (no, I’m not saying everypony, that sounds idiotic) at the ball, including the guests who are there as well as the Mane Six. Everyone ignores Twilight in favor of Celestia, the animals ignore Fluttershy for some unexplained reason, Rarity meets this arrogant jerk who completely ignores her until she epically chews him out (Even though I hate her, her rant was pretty good.) But that doesn’t mean that I still don’t hate her. Prince Blueblood is like Clovis from Code Geass.

Pinkie Pie’s exclusion is understandable, again her lack of empathy is astounding, she’s being an annoying brat to people who don’t like what she likes, they’re having fun in their own way, and she’s ruining it. She’s acting like a spoiled toddler with ADHD.

As for Rainbow Dash, they had no right to treat her that way. The way everyone snubs the Mane Six besides Pinkie is just very rude. I mean, Twilight is a Canterlot pony, you’d think they would have some more respect for her. So, Fluttershy loses her mind, Rarity is frazzled, AJ is upset, Dashie is completely snubbed, and Twilight is upset, too. The kicker is at the ending, Celestia tells them she wanted them to be there so they could cause chaos. In her own words, the meeting is so boring it needs to be livened up.

So, she wanted Fluttershy to break down, she wanted the others to suffer, and worst of all is the lack of concern for her guests….you know, the ones who had their time out destroyed because of other ponies who couldn’t understand they had different tastes. Sorry for sounding double-sided, but while the Mane Six’s treatment here was uncalled for, it was also twice as disrespectful for a princess like Celestia to 1. Have no consideration for what her other guests wanted to do and instead decide their nights need to be ruined, 2. Have no consideration for the Mane Six’s mental states and instead treat it like some kind of game. Not very nice, Celestia. Not very nice.

As you can see, it’s a very warped episode.

8. “One Bad Apple “

Originally, I liked the premise of this episode. The idea of Applebloom having a cousin was good, and Babs became one of my favorites when she mended her ways with them, but I didn’t like the morals or lack of. The CMC are, once again, bullied into silence, and no one does a thing to stop them. The CMC decide to stupidly not tell Applejack about the bullying and Babs only goes along with the bullies because she was bullied herself (likely story) and completely disregards any shred of kindness the CMC show her and decides to make their lives a living hell. So the CMC decide to turn to revenge (they’ve gotta stand up for themselves somehow, right?)

So, yeah, just as they’re going to kick Babs’ ass-no, flank, and teach her some respect and humble her a bit, Applejack chooses that moment to spin out a sob story about Babs being bullied. Suddenly, they stop and realize, oh, no, us standing up for ourselves is wrong! Applejack says they should have come to her from the start. I was bullied, but I did NOT become a bully towards others like Babs. That would have been below my moral principles. The fact that she gave in to that peer pressure is cowardly. She got away with worse things than the girls DT and Silver Spoon ever did. She did it willingly.

The moral in this is: you have to go to adults for dealing with a bully, you can’t stand up for yourselves? What the hell? Did they even bother to research school bullying or any kind, for that matter?

What about the bullying cases where adults refused to believe children, laughed it off, told them that it was part of being a child, or told them to grow up and stop taking things so seriously, or just plain didn’t give a damn? What if the kids come from an abused family who doesn’t care enough to do anything to stop the bullying, or what if the bullying is encouraged by the adults? And no, ignoring the bullies DOES NOT work. I tried that, it does not do a damned thing. You need to stand up for yourself and prove you won’t take the blows like a beaten dog.

One of my relatives was bullied when he was younger, eventually he had no choice but to fight back. It’s how he survived. If you want young children to know how to survive bullying, teach them the proper way: FIGHT BACK. You’d educate more students and thus give them less incentive to kill themselves or snap and kill the bullies. That way, they’d know they aren’t alone.

7. Over a barrel

This episode is particularly racist, I thought, just with the way the buffaloes are portrayed as the stupid natives who are in touch with nature, but don’t know a damned thing, and how plain dumb everyone was acting. It seems that the MLP writers have a bad touch of doing this. Pinkie causes everyone to go to war.

6. The Crystal Empire

Everyone was looking forward to this episode, they said it would be entirely great. Unfortunately, it did not live up to the hype the HUB put so much emphasis on. Where I was expecting a glorious tale about the oppressed ponies who fought back against the evil King Sombra, there came about nothing…..but boredom. Nothing but stagnant, boredom and repetitive, bad writing. The series fell flat on its ass there. That’s all I have to say. I didn’t like it.

5. The Return Of Harmony

I have not seen this episode in its entirety, however I know the basic premise and have seen bits and pieces of it. From what I have seen, I have to say I dislike it a great deal. Everyone is acting so out-of-character, even though they are brainwashed, you’d expect them to fight it off. Come on, even Euphemia fought off the Kill All Japanese order!!!! Instead, everyone is acting mean. It pissed me off, seeing them all act like that. I despise Discord, toying with everyone like that, and making Twilight cry. This is another example of the Mane Six, despite claiming to be best friends, may as well say they’re cousins with a blood feud.

4. Winter Wrap-up

Well, one of the things that makes me dislike this episode is the constant singing. Musicals are not my favorite, and singing drags down anything, in my opinion. I love singing, but I don’t like it in the stuff I watch. Hence why I avoid Disney movies. Singing adds nothing to the series, and I wish they would leave it out entirely, because all it does is annoy the hell out of the viewer, but little kids probably won’t mind. The other thing is yet again, they’re out to bash Twilight. I hate bashing episodes, they’re nasty and cruel.

Now while sometimes it’s all right for my fanfiction to humble an arrogant character, The Scrappy, a Karma Houdini, and a Mary Sue, what is not all right is for unjustified character bashing for no reason. It happens in fanfiction, but for it to happen in a scripted TV show is nothing short of annoying. Except for Rarity, sometimes she deserves it.

Twilight is using magic to help AJ and all the others out in pulling a cart, because 1. Twilight is not an earth pony, or hard working one. She’s unused to physical labor. 2. Magic is one of the things she’s good at. Isn’t the moral of this series to use your talents? and 3. She’s a girl. Girls are NOT as strong as guys are at physical labor. Face it, no matter how feminist we girls may be, we just simply have to admit that our bodies aren’t built to do bodybuilding, machinery, and other stuff like that. Girls are built for babies….sure, we girls can learn how to do those things, but again the physical disadvantage will always be there. Applejack yells at her and makes her cry.

Everyone starts to argue again and you realize the writing staff could have decided to pull out some other twist rather than have them all argue and fight, even when they’re not Discorded, but nope, laziness kicks in again. They could have come to a better plot twist than this, but instead they sink down to the same old writing cliche, and once again, it’s everyone picks on Twilight day.

Uh, guys, what happened to love and tolerance? What happened to not mistreating others because they’re different? Oh, right, because in Bridle Gossip and Call of the Cutie, Ponyville demonstrated that tolerance of others perfectly.

Ponyville is racist.

3. Sonic Rainboom

There are many reasons I hate Rarity. She’s arrogant, she looks like a fly with those eyelashes of hers, she’s self-centered, and a stereotype of so many things. Her acting in this episode was completely contrary to the element of generosity. But this one is not so bad when compared with others. RD wants to take part in a competition she’s always wanted to do, and what does Rarity do? Not offer support, but instead decide to show off and compete in it.

She dresses herself up in a butterfly outfit and starts parading around, and Rainbow saves her. Rarity does apologize, though.

2. A friend in deed

Stalking, as we’re all taught, is a terrible crime that no one should condone, and yet in this episode, Pinkie gets away with it. A donkey who has come to town and is an introvert, is being persecuted by Pinkie, an obnoxious extrovert, who doesn’t realize when she needs to give people space. She does everything she can to make this guy’s life miserable. And she gets away with it. She asks him embarrassing questions, and she wonders why he doesn’t want to be your friend. When someone doesn’t want to be your friend, you leave them alone. Capeesh? Pinkie does not understand when people don’t want to be her friend.

Stalking is not something you should condone.

There is one other episode here.

Tie-Breaker for episodes with worst morals: Luna Eclipsed and The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well.

Luna is tired of ponies treating her badly and acting like she’s a monster. Not only that, there’s a holiday dedicated to being scared of her and centered around hurting her feelings. Twilight tries to help her fit in, but Pinkie keeps ruining it by screaming and telling lies about Luna, thus hurting her deeply and preventing her from fitting in. Later on, Twilight tells Pinkie to quit doing this, and Pinkie replies that she knows Luna is a good person, but that it’s okay to be scared of her because it’s “all in good fun.” All in good fun? Pinkie, what happened to you? You used to be so likeable, and now you’ve just become plain mean. Luna was not in on the joke, and it is still a hideously cruel thing to do to someone.

TMMDW. See, Rainbow is arrogant. That’s her flaw. So we expect her to brag about saving people. So, yeah, she’s like a Gryffindor. So in one episode, Trixie is criticized for bragging because she’s a stage pony. Yet another one of my least favorite ones, but this one takes the cake for terrible. And….the worst thing is, in this one, a new pony called Mare-Do-Well shows up, stealing her credit and her fans, and at the end, in a cruel twist, it’s revealed that it was her friends. All five of them. Fluttershy, the element of Kindness, Pinkie, one of Rainbow’s closest friends, Applejack, who’s supposed to be the element of Honesty. All five of them, including Applejack, who LIED to RD, were going behind her back and bragging about Mare-do-Well’s achievements, stealing Rainbow’s fame, and boasting about their achievements. They made Rainbow feel horrible and at the end they have the nerve to tell her they did what they did to reduce her arrogance and ego. Bullcrap! Sure, Rainbow may be overconfident, but is that any reason to bully her? No.

They really should have been punished.

Remember the anime you really liked as a child? Or, the cartoon with a really funny character in it, really, really funny, and cool, and you wanted to be just like them? How about when you grew up and you decided to revisit your favorite anime or cartoon. So…..now what?

 

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What did they do to them? What happened to the great show you remember from childhood? Well, as it turns out, many shows we thought were so great as a child turn out to be good, but with perhaps the most retarded plot holes and premises. Let’s examine them, shall we? I shall be looking at anime, cartoons, literature, and American TV shows today. First, let’s start off with some anime.

First, let’s begin with Detective Conan, an anime that remains in many children’s hearts as their first intro to anime in Japan or China. So, what does it have going for it? Why, great characters, a good plot, and most of all….heart. Not to mention the fact that nothing has changed for the past 600 episodes or more with a plot that’s dying like Pokemon and a hero who never ages. Wait, what?

You heard me. So while Detective Conan is an incredibly innovative and creative mystery series, with some simply unforgettable characters among them, like Haibara and Kaitou Kid and the protagonist himself, the series itself relies on some pretty stupid plot twists. So, there’s like this great detective, Shinichi.

He’s a high school genius and an ace detective, at that. So one day, the plot rests on him going to an amusement park with his best friend, Ran, which quickly becomes the worst day ever when two men in black (that look like they stepped out of the movie itself) decide to beat him up and shrink him into a child with a convenient plot device drug-*cough, magical drug with no cure*. What? Flat WHAT, like TV Tropes says?

Are..you….freaking….kidding me? What the hell WAS the creator thinking when he came up with this bullshit? This sounds like something some fourth-grader would come up with on some acid or speed, not a professional writer. What kind of author degrades themselves by writing something so retarded and expecting us to take it seriously? It just gets worse from there.

He has to hang out with an idiot who can’t solve mysteries, so he has to give him heroin doses-just kidding, tranquilizes him so he can take over and pwn the old man at his own game with his deduction skills and so this kid sits there talking into a bow tie and no one notices. WHAT? How can we expect to believe something that farfetched?

Second, the love interest notices nothing unusual about said kid, despite the fact that he looks like her childhood friend, talks like her childhood friend, has same interests, same birthday, and same effing knowledge in detective skills?

Image

This….is just too much….even for anime, it’s just too stupid a plot to be taken seriously. Sure, Shinichi may be the most badass detective in fiction since Sherlock Holmes himself, but the contrived plot that makes us want to take it literally is the stupidest I have ever seen.

Oh, and to add insult to injury, every single case this kid takes, the fat drunkard moron with an IQ of 40 takes the credit like the dumbass he is and poor Shinichi has to live with this dumb a-hole telling him to shut up and hits him at every opportunity. Guess, what happens then?  No one helps him with his abuse. So, yeah, this anime may be great, but its plot is seriously retarded and you should feel ashamed that a writer even dared to publish a plot this stupid.

2. The melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

Let me put it bluntly: this anime centers around a  girl who is literally God personified, and can destroy the entire world if she’s bored with it or no one wants to take her seriously. God, are the writers even trying with this one? Why the hell are we supposed to root for a girl who blackmails people to get what she wants, molests a girl because she can, and has an idiotic personality? There’s just a simple answer in this one: hell no. Stay away from this one.

3. Yugioh

Okay, there’s this kid, see? He wants to be a duelist, but he’s too short and no one at school loves him, so he completes an ancient puzzle to get his revenge, and somehow becomes a better duelist when h’es possessed by his sexy alter ego and no one notices a thing. Oh, and card games are treated so seriously in this pile of garbage. This is why YGOTAS exists, to ridicule its very source.

4. Pokemon

Don’t get me started on this abomination.

5. Dragonball Gt

Trust me, you knew this was coming. You knew it.  So Goku is shrunk, Gohan is now a nerd, Trunks is now scared of his own shadow, and Pan makes everything worse.

 

Hello, there. I’m going to do a review of PMD: Explorers of Time, Darkness, and Sky. Everyone knows the hero and his pal become Explorers at this Guild and do lots of cool things and go on adventures, etc. But does anyone actually bother to examine this cliched, bland story for what it’s worth and point out the numerous flaws in it? This game isn’t perfect, but children need a game that isn’t as….messed up and twisted as this one is.

Okay, first, let’s begin with the first problem with this little story. There are sixteen different choices for Pokemon, so…..why not do sixteen different plots that’ll differ depending on who you choose? That’d be nice, wouldn’t it? Nope, instead the story remains the same no matter who you choose. That’s really nice.

On this subject, the hero is bland and boring as hell. You have no personality, no depth at all….and the psychic ability is useless, amounting in a worthless character. What’s the point of being a main character if you don’t even have a personality or a speaking role at all? You talk with your feet…..and your partner talks for you. How condescending.

The sidekick is probably the worst of them all….never before have I seen such a wimpy, disgustingly servile character. This little piece of crap makes you go through so many unnecessary, idiotic scenes that could’ve been avoided if the character wasn’t so idiotic. They whine and cry all the time if you don’t do what they want you to do…..so once you get something back for them, they force you to join possibly the worst, most atrocious place I’ve ever seen in a freaking Pokemon game-The Wigglytuff Guild, or what I like to call, the “The Evil Place.”

Okay, at first glance, it seems pretty innocuous-train and become good explorers, so you can help Pokemon all over the world…..and once again evolution is held back for some retarded reason-who knows why they make you suffer like this-the whole concept is Pokemon EVOLVE. To hold it back is stifling and pretty much kills any point of making this Pokemon.
One: On the blatant cult-like monstrosity that is the Guild and how it is a terrible example for children:

Here’s where it gets bad, you see the Guild is made up of several Pokemon; the ditzy Valley-Girl stereotype, the country hick, the annoyingly trite philosopher/lazy Shikamaru Expy, the annoying catchphrase guy, and the loudmouth. These personalities are unremarkable in every way and only serve as annoyances in the plot. The worst part of this place is probably the main lead who gives you your slave labor *cough, work* is Chatot.

Ever had that bad boss who thinks he’s so great that everyone ought to worship them? This guy is probably the most annoying, despicable video game character you’ll ever meet. Right from the start, he decides everything you do…..and I mean, everything. Now what’s so bad about that? You’ll see…..why this place is most definitely evil and a twisted place to work in.

Now, what’s the definition of a cult again? Let’s see…..”a religion or religious sect generally considered to be extremist or false, with its followers often living in an unconventional manner under the guidance of an authoritarian, charismatic leader,” according to the Free Dictionary. You may be seeing to yourselves, well, what does that have to do with the Guild? You’ll see shortly. Now let’s go over the warning signs of a cult……According to http://www.prem-rawat.talk.org/forum/uploads/CultCharacteristics.htm, the warning signs of a cult are as follows.

First, “the group is focused on a living leader to whom members seem to display, excessively zealous, unquestioning commitment.”

How does this apply to the Guild, you may ask? Let’s see….first, Chatot tells you, “You are not, under any circumstances, to be rude to the Guildmaster.” Hmmm…..thought control? So they are not allowed to question his authority. Such a role model for children, don’t you think? Second, the other members of the Guild seem to be afraid of the Guildmaster and even the case of missing apples is enough to induce fear and panic in the Guild members. Fear….of a seemingly benevolent ruler-*cough* boss…..is there something unsettling about that? Yes, there is.

You must always respect the Guildmaster…..though he is eccentric, there are times when he seems eerily scary. Why join a Guild where they obey the rules under fear of punishment? Because…..they feed on fear and control. Chatot is a control freak. This much is evident within the story itself. You are never allowed to do anything yourself….anything that is ordered by the Guildmaster must be done.

Second, “the group is preoccupied with bringing in new members.”

This is a subtle one, and one that you might not notice in the game unless you look closely….Chimecho’s member service seems obsessed with you bringing as many new members in as possible…..but I will point out how this Guild endorses racism and slavery…..later. Chatot mentions others have run away from rigorous training……how many new members do they try to get in?

Third, “the group is preoccupied with making money.”

Here is the big alarming one with this game: this “benevolent” guild is all about making money….and that means, off of you. Yes, every. single. time. you. complete. a mission, they steal most of the money from you and keep it for themselves. This is an effective control tactic and ensures that you won’t be trying to get stuff for yourself. It also keeps you low-level and thus unable to fight back against their ways. Example: you have 2000 poke for your first mission, but Chatot steals it and leaves you with only 200 poke. Some might argue that this is a realistic example of taxes and bills, but would they really STEAL this MUCH from you? The answer is….no. This is wrong, this is illegal and to have this in a kid’s game and accept it at face value…..is deplorable.

Cults do this all the time. Jim Jones, the head of the Jonestown cult in Guyana, used this practice on his followers a lot….he took their houses, their money and their children from them, telling them it was fair because they belonged to him. Awfully similar, no?

Fourth, “questioning, doubt and dissent are discouraged or even punished.”

You see this many times. First, when you try to choose your own mission…..Chatot snaps at you for questioning him and makes someone else choose it for you….and when you question why they steal money from you, he reprimands you again….every day, he gives you orders and you do NOT question them, EVER. Not to mention the Perfect Apple incident, where he refuses to believe you and your “dissent” is treated as a “major” crime.

Ever notice one of the rules, “Run away and pay?” What do you think THAT means? I’m afraid to know what that means….does this mean they hurt you if you break the rules? They are perfectly willing to lie to you and ambush you in the forest in order to make you “graduate”, after all.

The fifth one, about “mind-numbing techniques,” really isn’t applicable except for the rules you chant every day. They seem a lot like mind control, and it IS. You repeat it day after day, so it sinks in your mind, and you do not QUESTION anything they tell you.

Sixth, the part about them dictating how they should think, act and feel is in full force here. You can never do anything without informing the Guild, you can never have all the money you want without the guild taking it, etc, etc. Your partner decides to never do anything without the consent of the Guild. Especially on the mission, where you must never do anything “wrong.”

The seventh one talks about them having an exalted status….well, with the way they treat members who join your team after you beat them in dungeons, they definitely fall under this rule. You bet your boots…they do.

The tenth one says “justifies means that are considered unethical,” the main ones the Guild is guilty of committing would be the act of blatant hypocrisy, lying, greed (the excessive devotion to money, again), racism, and slavery. You heard me, racism. That’s right, the one thing everyone overlooks about this place is its racism, and I will get to that soon enough. Starving is considered an acceptable punishment for breaking the rules.

The eleventh one is in full force here. When you fail to bring back Apples, Team Skull (a group of arrogant Marty Stus/Karma Houdinis) suck up to your dictator and Chatot automatically praises them over you and induces guilty feelings in you even though you did nothing wrong.

The thirteenth one says, “You will spend inordinate amounts of time devoted to the group,” This one is true, also. You don’t go anywhere except in the Guild, and even then you barely get to go anywhere else.

The final one says, “You have to live only with the group members.” This is absolutely true. You live only with the Guild members, not with your own team mates. You can’t live with them. You can’t live anywhere else except in the guild. Never mind that your partner has a place you could live, somehow you have to stay with them.

Emotional leverage-twice, the Guild displays outright apathy for you. First, Chatot claims to disbelieve your story about the future, then turns around and says he believed you, only he didn’t want to tell you. WHAT? You accuse us of being liars, and then you turn it around and say you were testing us and you actually believed us? Why not come out and say it, you manipulative jerk?

Second, Chatot says he remembers the time you were attacked by Dusknoir. Let me say this: Dusknoir is some explorer guy who’s actually evil, but the characters are too stupid to notice this. You and your partner become “friends” with him easily and he realizes who you are in the plot. He returns to the future and everyone in town sees him leave, but before he does, he asks the two of you to come forward, grabs both of you and drags you into the portal, in front of everyone of the Guild and in town.

What does he say? He says, “When you fell into the portal.” What? What is wrong with YOU? We nearly got killed and you SAW the whole thing happen, yet you have the gall to say we fell? Oh, and why didn’t anyone bother to intervene? You know, you heroes who save people, why didn’t you do something? You stood by and watched.

Chatot didn’t care, you see. It was all just some game to him. He saw only what he wanted to see.

On an unrelated sidenote, Lapras (this guy/girl who transports you to this mystical place to save the world) mentions offhand that only you and your partner are allowed to access this mystical land, because only the “pure” people can go. This means…..your friends are somehow excluded…..what the hell do you mean by that? Are you trying to suggest that we’re better than they are?

Finally, on to the blatant racism of the Guild and the game itself…..you see, you complete a certain amount of missions and you’re allowed to recruit members/friends to help you out and help you complete missions.

Here’s the catch. The Guild doesn’t see them as members. They see them as subhuman, or lower-class. Remember the Jim Crow laws? The ones that dictated how African-Americans lived their lives? Those laws?

Well, though it’s hard to notice at first glance, there’s something similar to that at work here. First, you know where the members live? They live separately from you. They can’t live with you, even though they’re now part of the Guild. What is with that? That makes no sense….unless of course, they’re practicing some sort of prejudice…which they are.

Second, they barely speak….except for inane jibber-jabber and they have no brains of their own, except to constantly say how much they would do for you….they are simple-minded, apparently. Think of how much more they could do if they were given a voice. But they aren’t. They’re seen as stupid, voiceless. When you complete missions, they aren’t there to receive the credit they deserve.

My partners have saved my butt dozens of times….and yet they get no acknowledgement whatsoever. If my partner dies in a dungeon and I die, we get sent back and fail, and yet if a member dies, we don’t get sent back. How is that fair?

Third, the other alarming factor at stake here is that the Guild seems to encourage this sort of prejudice. When you do important missions or go on vacation, they can’t participate, even though they’re technically speaking, part of the Guild itself.

Here’s Chatot’s reasoning on how something this wrong can pass by, “You may not bring members of your team that are not part of the Guild.” What……again, WHAT? These guys become part of your guild the moment they join, thus you have no right to exclude them from things like this. Who do you think you are to have such unbridled arrogance?

Don’t you see? They’re treated like dirt, they have no development, no brains, no self-worth at all….plus, can you imagine how they feel to be treated so harshly? It’s horrible, having to have my “friends”-well, virtual ones get treated like they’re nothing.

Aside from the racism here, this game is twisted and messed-up on so many levels. Don’t try to get back at bullies, because you’ll just make an idiot of yourself. Don’t try to defy authority, because they’re always right…remember, you are better than your friends…..

Do you honestly want children to think this sort of thing is okay? In the first game, when we go hiding out, the first thought you have is about your friends. You want to warn them about what’s going on, so they can accompany you, but your partner says, “No, we can’t bring them. We shouldn’t tell them.”

Well, that’s cold. That really is cold. You’re going to run away like a bunch of chickens and all you can think about is yourself? You supposedly care about them, yet not enough to warn them? The whole town in the first game was a mob…..they honestly abandoned them, left them to be hurt or killed? You can’t expect me to believe they wouldn’t be found-for god’s sake, their homes were right near our place.

So, aside from the racism and the backwards morals, this game was okay. The future subplot has been done before (like in DBZ, Terminator, etc) and Grovyle seems like a ripoff of Future Trunks, but only a few of the subplots in this actually make up for the screwed-up ethics, the shameless racism and prejudice, and the mind control in this game.

Hey, kids, let’s call the next game the “Explorers of Mind-Control.” That oughta let the parents have fun. Feel free to leave comments and feedback. :D

Hello there, WordPress bloggers. I figured it was about time I did another blog. This one is a special one, since it’s being done about an anime I’ve loved for years. This series, along with Naruto and one other, got me back into manga. You know it’ll be the end of the world when you hear me say that liking anime is a bad thing. It isn’t, it’s great. You never know how much you can experience by watching anime and every day seems to have more meaning to you when you see what anime characters have given up, it inspires you to try and live a little more and try to live as awesome as they do, well maybe for a day or two, you can. :D

No, it’s not Naruto, it’s not Dragonball. Let’s see…..this anime centers around a young boy meeting a mysterious person who changes his life forever by giving him weird and mysterious powers he couldn’t control. But as a consequence, this also made the person who visited him lose HER powers as well, so in return, both of them had to learn to adjust to it. The boy had to learn how to be half-dead (sort of Danny Phantom-esque) and the girl had to deal with being human for a while. Sound familiar? Yu Yu Hakusho-esque?

Yup, I’m talking about Bleach. Bleach is by far one of the most interesting shows I’ve come across. Unfortunately, it runs into some of the same troubles that others have had: it got worse as it went on. How do I mean worse? I mean, the premise was very interesting, there was a lot of amusing banter between the characters, I love the way the characters got along with each other, especially the Ichigo and Rukia snarking. The SS (Soul Society) Arc was very good with all of the plot twists no one saw coming. But then after that, everything fell apart when they inserted a bunch of characters I didn’t like and dragged down the plot. After that, I really felt that Bleach started to suck, it was almost as bad as Dragonball GT. Which is sad because Bleach has a strong supporting and main cast….can you not say Ichigo is THE badass?

Like I said before, he reminds me of Yusuke from Yu Yu Hakusho or of Naruto, except for the fact that he has a ton of flaws that balance him out wonderfully, and Naruto does not. We come to Rukia Kuchiki. She is not human, she is a Soul Reaper, sent from the Soul Society to rid the world of demons known as Hollows who kill souls and living humans. Of course, these two wind up running into each other. She gives him her powers and the rest is anime history. Ichigo becomes a Soul Reaper, Shinigami, whatever (I grew up with the dub, so deal with it) Rukia has to deal with being a goddarned human and not knowing how to operate…drinks?

These two have interesting quirks, and they have an intriguing way of interacting. However, IchiRuki was by far one of the first pairings I started to ship. For those of you who don’t know what shipping means, it basically means you take characters such as Buffy and Spike or House and his girlfriend, whatever the hell her name was-her house that he smashed, and you pair it up. Even boy/boy, girl/girl ships, even though I don’t go for that, bleah.

But enough unrelated side dialogue. Now, let’s delve right into the universe of Bleach and why the Ichiruki pairing works the way it does. Let’s see…ah, here it is. Proofs for Ichiruki from the manga and anime

1. Their constant arguing. It’s similar to that of Shinichi and Ran from Detective Conan, Alice and Oz from Pandora Hearts, and Sasuke and Sakura from Naruto. There’s proof that couples who argue are closer together. Besides, I knew people who were like those two. We’d sit down at the lunch table in school one day, they’d be best friends and be all lovey-dovey with each other, and then the next they wouldn’t talk to each other for some stupid reason, and then they’d start yelling at each other, start getting mad, and then the next day they would tease each other and act like nothing really happened.

So, let’s look up an example of Ichi and Ruki arguing, (not that it’s HARD, since they always fight)

This is a good example of Ichiruki cause of how they act. This is exactly how they acted.

See, this is how they would be. Sweet and cuddly one moment, and then deadly enemies the next. Ichiruki fight in five…four, three, two, one…..*This whole fighting and arguing thing reminds me so much of my friends.*

2.From the beginning, Rukia seems drawn to Ichigo. Rather than erase his memories of her (besides the fact that he stole her powers and she had to stay by his side and teach him, ) she talks to him and he talks to her, too.

Remember the old stories where gods would be exiled from their realms because they happened to fall in love with or interact with a human? Well, doesn’t Bleach just remind you of that? It’s a tale as old as time itself; person from another world (Rukia, Soul Society) comes down from their plane of existence, meets a human (man or woman) and falls in love with them. This of course, was frowned upon. Sound familiar? In fact, the same can be said for Ichigo’s parents, Masaki and Isshin. Masaki was a Quincy, whereas Isshin was a Shinigami and they fell in love and got married.

3.Like in the very first episode where Rukia says it’s Ichigo’s fault the Hollows are attacking his family. Ichigo looks insulted and then Rukia immediately says it’s not what she meant shortly before she gets attacked by the Hollow. Ichigo gets pissed. Hmm….interesting.

4.Rukia nearly dying to save Ichigo in the first episode. Wow, that would be something I would expect to see in the middle of an anime or last. Usually, the Japanese put a lot of emphasis on sacrifice, so you can expect to see it in any anime. But to do it in the very first episode shows…..something….surprising. For her to nearly sacrifice…her, well, afterlife for the sake of a mere human who she happened to run into and describe everything to, not only mentioning the consequences of that action…..why bother saving the human when she could just erase his memory? What’s so special about Ichigo that Rukia just couldn’t bring herself to do it? So my reasoning is that she started to bond with him from the moment they met.

5.Their intro to each other, shortly before he gets her powers.

They both look into each other’s eyes, a typical romance thing, and then state their name. “Not Soul Reaper, I am Rukia Kuchiki.” He just smiles and says, “I’m Ichigo.”

6.When she goes to his school the next day, the things she says sound like she’s hitting on him.

From the manga: What’s on your mind, big boy? Such a secluded place. It almost sounds like she’s just seducing him. Ichigo’s reaction makes it even more hilarious.

7.Rukia’s smile when Ichigo agrees to help her.

8.The amount of time they spend with each other. Even their classmates think they’re an item.

When Ichi and Ruki hang out on the roof, Mizuiro says, “Together again. You two must be in love or something.” Ichigo says, “Whatever,” but his reaction to it is interesting. Rukia just looking clueless here….But they’re constantly spending time with each other, I understand they have to get along for the sake of humanity, but for two people who just met, they spend a lot of time together, if you know what I mean. It almost is like first love, and if their classmates, (who know Ichigo pretty well) think they’re dating, then they probably are. Even Tatsuki, Ichigo’s childhood friend, thinks they are.

9.Rukia in his closet.

Why does she need to be in his closet? Does anyone else get the feeling that she’s a pervert? I mean, of all things, living in his closet was pretty weird. Why does she want to be so close to him, hmmmm? Is she possibly showing an interest in him, already?

10.The Orihime-centric episode-the first episode I watched, BTW. On this particular occasion, Rukia explains to Ichigo that Hollows were once humans, but the curious thing is Rukia’s riding on Ichigo’s back and he’s letting her. Doesn’t this remind you of knights letting princesses ride on their horses in fairy tales? Doesn’t this seem rather gentlemanly of him to do and sort of out of character……Ichi normally ignores the girls, but unless he actually likes her, we have an answer. But he barely even knew this girl, and here he is already letting her ride him.

11.He shows more emotion around her than anyone else.

He smiles, and acts in a rather human way with Rukia. Not with Orihime, he’s just sort of…..expressionless.

12.Rukia healing Ichigo when he’s burning.

13.Convincing evidence for Ichiruki in the manga

Mizuiro starts to hit on Rukia. “Hey, you remember my name! I’m Mizuiro Kojima, and I’m 15 years old and my hobby is-” Suddenly, Ichigo intervenes, “Picking up chicks?”

Mizuiro says, “Whoa, not that, man!”

Ichigo, looking quite sour, points at Mizuiro and then says, “Watch out, Rukia, he may look like a dork, but he’s a real player.” Wow, somebody’s possessive of Rukia, wouldn’t you say? Again, it sounds like he’s saying, “Back off, Rukia belongs to me.” Mizuiro’s like, “Darn, he’s already taken her.”

14.Keigo thinks Ichigo snagged her.

15. Rukia smiling at Ichigo when she thinks he’s not looking. She has a bad habit of doing this, like she’ll be smiling these tiny, sneaky smiles, when she thinks it’s secret and he doesn’t notice. But it’s just at that moment where Rukia smiles the sly little smile. Where else is she smiling at him? Here she is, smiling again….and again.

16. The part where they split up and Ichigo warns her, “Please, don’t take any chances.” Double points for where he says, “You made Karin cry, you attacked a defenseless woman. You’re a four-star jerk.” He’s referring to Rukia like this? In other words, this implies he thinks highly of her.

17.This doesn’t matter, but he brings her breakfast.

18.In the Bleach book Souls, there’s a poster with Ichi and Ruki side by side, both looking somber. It says, “A Boy, a Soul Reaper. A Chance meeting. A story of fate begins.” Sound romantic? A chance meeting? That’s how some of the greatest love stories start out, like Romeo and Juliet, etc…..that’s how Suzaku and Euphie got started, and how Lelouch and Shirley met. Usually, that’s how most romances start out in fiction.

19.Taken from the book, it says Ichigo starts to trust Rukia on a deeper level, and Rukia avoids the subject of his mother, knowing it’s painful for him. Again, she has that smile on her face. What, trust Rukia on a deeper level? You mean they are more like partners, close friends, or is it implying something deeper, because they often get close to each other.

20.Rukia holding his head in her lap and wants him to not die. That was moving. It might’ve reminded her of Kaien….in that whole arc, Rukia was the only one besides Tatsuki to notice something off about Ichigo….note Orihime doesn’t know anything about him…..and doesn’t understand how he thinks or feels, instead she admires him for a lie. But Rukia understands Ichigo for who he is, she knows how he feels. That means he sees her as a close friend, which is unusual considering he doesn’t have many close friends. He has friends, but not close friends.

21. Rukia leaving Ichigo and how depressed she looks

There’s a point where Kon goes into Ichigo’s arms and Rukia says, “He’s gotten fond of you.” But she looks at him with this wistful smile on her face, and a person on Fanfiction.net says it almost feels like she was saying I’ve grown fond of you, too.” Love is on her mind when she’s running away.

22.Rukia’s note to Ichigo

She leaves a note for him to decode, which when translated, comes across as “I must go. Don’t look for me, and don’t worry about me. Burn this letter after you find it. If you can’t, stay hidden for a while.” In other words, she was sort of telling him that she doesn’t want him to get killed. She’s already imploring him to stay because she knows he won’t do that, he can’t live life without her.

23.Rukia crying to Ichigo

She pretends to hate him. The official book says Ichigo can tell her true feelings through her tears.

24.Where Rukia convinces old man Yama to leave Ichigo alone

25. Rukia calls him a fool and sees how strong he’s become.

26.The time where Ichigo is being dragged down by the Shiro thing, I don’t care if it’s a Hollow, it’s still an it to me, and Rukia arrives at the window and says, “I know you’re not the type to give up! That’s not the sort of man you are in my heart, Ichigo.” Umm….man in my heart? She kicks his ass into gear. But is that the sort of thing you say to your guy friend? It sounds more romantic than anything else. Man in my heart? You are to me-in other words, she believes in Ichigo and she knows it’s not like him to get down about something this trivial.

27.The scene where she’s drinking her chocolate milk and the girls ask if she likes Ichigo. Rukia’s reaction….this is a classic, people. She splashes her chocolate milk all over the place, wipes it off her face and then just sits there and says with this fake smile, “Ichigo and I are just friends.” Judging by the girl’s looks, they don’t believe her, and neither do I. If she didn’t love him, she wouldn’t have reacted so strongly to that.

If she was only friends with him, she would have said, “Are you kidding? Ichigo and I are just friends,” She would say, without the shocked face, without the overly forced expression….the way she did that sounded not only like it was something surprising, it was also prying into something she didn’t want them to know. In reality, it’s the opposite.

28.Orihime herself.

While Ichigo is fighting Byakuya for Rukia’s sake, Orihime looks out at them and says to herself, “I wish I could be first in your heart, Kurosaki-san, like Kuchiki-san is.” Look, she just admitted it. It’s rare to find a rival like Orihime who respects Ichigo’s decision and knows not to butt in. On the other hand, Orihime and Uryu make a cute couple.

29. Ichigo’s despair when she’s hurt

30.Ichigo’s training. He goes to hell and back just to save her, he even becomes a Hollow. Her life means so much to him that he’s willing to give up everything to save her.

31.He’s also very listless when she’s gone and talks about how sad it is that no one else remembers her. You just see this sad look on his face, incredibly sad. Without her, he is lonely and depressed. In the movie Fade to Black, which is non-canon, all of the things both Ichi and Ruki see are of each other.

32.Rukia. Even without her memories, she’s curious about him.

33.”I’m not worth shedding blood over.”

34. The fact that they say their first names without a suffix. In American society, it’s ordinary for me to say, “Hey, Jack,” and he’d say, “Hey, Lacie.” Americans call each other by their first names….it’s odd for an american to say, “Vessalius-sama or Baskerville-sama.” But in Japan, it’s the opposite. Acquaintances and friends you’re not very close with, you say their first name with an honorific, and the same goes with the last name. So, how the hell do you tell family members of the same name apart if they were at a meeting? Mighty confusing.

Even in Tsubasa, you see them reluctant to call each other informally, because of how impolite it sounds. Here, even though it’s a standard here in America to call each other by our first name, it’s the opposite. You get to know someone and you call them by their last name until you’re sure that you’re either in private or else you’re sure that you’re close enough to them to call them by their first name with an honorific, like Shinichi-san.

Both in English and Japanese, they say their names without a suffix. In Magic Kaito, Aoko scolds Kaito for this misdeed, saying “You shouldn’t call me by my first name!” Kaito asks, “Why?” Aoko says, “You idiot, that will make people think we’re in love. In Japan, people who go around saying their first names without an honorific are either very close friends….or lovers….*cough Shinichi and Ran.*

But you know Shinichi and Ran are childhood friends. The fact that Ichigo and Rukia both don’t call each other by formalities, is unusual. As I wrote, “To drop suffixes so soon after meeting indicates strong feelings between the other two.”

Ichigo is the Sun, and Rukia is the moon. In other words, they refuse to live without each other. The last thought Rukia has before she is supposedly killed by the Moltres-expy. Why does Byakuya interfere, unless he thinks they’re lovers? (Big Brother Instinct, much?)

 

One thing I wanna get out of the way here……Mary sues are not just limited to fanworks, you guys. There are Canon Mary Sues in anime and manga, and films and TV shows. Often, they might even be the main characters of the show, depending on how you look at it. 

Basically, a Mary-sue is a character that can do everything and has no flaws. A lot of times, these characters are worshipped by half of the fanbase, while they’re hated by the other half of the fanbase. These characters usually have no  common flaws. But the one thing you’ll notice about Mary Sues (or the male equivalent, Marty Stus ) is that they tend to be Expies of the author. But the worst thing about the characters is when they don’t get punished for things other characters do. 

For a very good example of Mary Sues, we start off with Orihime Inoue from Bleach. What flaws does she have besides clumsiness and ditziness? Not much. She’s the obsession of a villain and is kidnapped and everyone has to save her, she has the attention of the main character, is clumsy and daydreams a lot, she has this great, god-like power and everyone loves her. 

You can tell a character is a Mary Sue if even the villains kidnap them for no explained reason. Suddenly, the whole plot revolves around Orihime, suddenly she’s perfect, and suddenly everyone likes her. This one bad villain apparently steps in. 

This character is a Purity Sue. It’s a shame to see that Kubo has to resort to writing Mary Sues in his plot when he already has a strong cast of female characters like Rukia, Soi Fon, Yoruichi, and Rangiku, not to mention a few. The supporting characters are good, too. To see a character like that drag down the whole fanbase is bad. 

In Code Geass, there’s no one better fitting for that option than Nina Einstein. She’s a shy girl who develops a crush on Princess Euphemia in a “tragic” lesbian romance-yeah, nothing says romance when the other character is completely unaware of your feelings, you creepy stalker, you. There’s a scene earlier on in the series that definitely should not have been put in the series where Nina is caught doing something very disgusting…..and after that, she just becomes more and more reprehensible. 

This Sue decides to blow up the entire country because of the death of a princess who barely even knew her. No punishment is given to her for her horrible acts of cruelty; she gets away with everything she does when really she should be locked up in a mental asylum. She’s hated by almost all of the Geass fanbase and for good reason. She’s a Mary Sue to the fullest, she gets away with her crime (another defining trait of a Sue is that they get away with every single horrible thing they’ve done, regardless of how bad it was. ) 

She is a terrible character. She also will appear in my list of the worst anime characters ever. (Anime characters I hate is just saying just because everyone worships a certain character does not mean I do, too. Worst are the ones that drag down the story and have no relevance. She is one of them.) 

Villetta Nu is one, too. Exotic hair and eye color, check. Shown as attractive, check. Character gets away with horrible things they’ve done, check. Yes, so to put it simply, Villetta is this exotic woman who decides to tell everyone about Lelouch, and despite the fact that she shoots the lover who took care of her while she lost her memory (long story there), he is dumb enough to fall for her lies again, and then she goes on to live a happy, fulfilling life, big insult to the characters who suffered. 

She strikes me as a Sue, because of the fact that she stands out among them, and everyone trusts her no matter what. There’s a good example of a Canon Sue. 

The same could be said for Tohru Honda from Fruits Basket, but she’s more of a neutral if anything else. She has enough flaws to outweigh her Sue-ishness, but her instant trust and kindness in others is incredibly naive and unrealistic. 

Another good Mary Sue would be…..Haruhi Suzumiya! Because the whole FREAKING manga is based on her and it literally revolves around her! She’s a Canon God Mode Sue, and the whole universe centers around her. You can tell how well this trainwreck of a plot is going to go with a Sue as the core. Not….well. 

And boy, it does not, because this character blackmails people, molests a classmate of hers and practically forces her to enter her little club. She bans this one from all other activities, and makes her wear these disgusting outfits to show off her chest. Does anyone reprimand her for these activities? No. 

Say, there’s this one scene where she’s in the computer club where she says she wants to take a computer from the Computer Club, as in steal it. The other people try to explain to her why that’s bad and then she harasses this poor guy and gets him to accidentally touch Mikuru’s breasts and snaps a picture of it, incriminating an innocent guy of sexual abuse,  just to get her paws on a computer that wasn’t hers in the first place. 

So basically, she’s engaging in perjury, false charges. You realize how bad that is? In real life, you wind up in jail big time for that. It’s despicable enough to not know why you can’t just steal something, and the way she acts about that whole thing just turned me off completely to the manga. She’s so selfish and hypocritical that it’s obnoxious to read how little she thinks about others. 

The excuse here is probably “because she’s god, she can get away with whatever she wants,” and thus Haruhi can get away with absolutely anything because she’s the frickin  main character, darn it! Ugh, even just talking about her ticks me off! God, this Sue knows no bounds. 

Speaking of Sues that make the whole plot revolve around them when they can’t do anything……..there’s MADOKA KANAME! 

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What does she do during the series? Absolutely nothing. As a Mary Sue, what else does she do besides whine and cry? Absolutely nothing. When Mami dies, she sits there and cries. Yep, people, that’s all you see from this character; unusual hair and eye color, great power but does nothing with it. She’s definitely a Mary Sue. 

In episode 12, she becomes the messiah of FREAKING HUMANITY. Everyone expects me to worship this character despite the fact that half the time she does nothing whatsoever. Although most of this can be blamed on Homura as she made Badass Madoka into whiny, wimpy-annoying as hell Madoka. 

I think we’ve had enough of the crying, whining Sailor Moon stereotype. Perhaps give her some other flaw? Nope. She does a lot of stupid things in the series, and they turn out badly. They say her flaw is her innocence…but no, her innocence pisses me off. It’s obvious that she’s a sue and a poorly written one at that. The fact that we’re all supposed to root for this character when all the others are so much more developed is just abysmal. 

And then we have…..Sailor Moon…… 

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Ah, Sailor moon….how we adore thee, and then how we despise thee, for thy Mary Sue ways. She uses her crying as a weapon, she has absolutely no flaws besides being lazy and mind-numbingly stupid. She is the savior of the world. Both her and Amu Hinamori are complete Mary Sues. Ugh…..

Now to move on to the Marty Stus. There are such characters in existence, yes. 

Beginning with Sosuke Aizen. 

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If this isn’t a Villain Sue, then I don’t know what is, okay? This guy becomes more and more powerful all the time. Nothing the other characters do can even come CLOSE to rivaling his abilities. You can tell he’s a Marty Stu, and he has no flaws whatsoever.

I’d like to say Schneizel from Code Geass is one. 

……..You’re expecting me to say Goku is a Marty Stu. The answer is…….far from that. I’ve realized that as I read over DBZ again. The whole story is not just Goku’s coming of age story, it is also the story of how a young boy grows up and learns how to be a true man, and deals with his flaws as they come. IS Goku flawed? Hell yes. 

Sure, he has super strength, but he has the weakness of his tail. He’s good at eating and fighting but his kindness and naivete often get the better of him, and the things he does can endanger people. In the beginning, he was just a coarse, rude and superpowered hick boy. 

But over the course of DBZ, Goku’s character development goes off the charts. Sure, he trains to be a great warrior, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t come without its costs. He loses as many battles as he wins and he grows stupendously. So by the time we meet Goku back in Z, he dies for the first time. Sure, he’s resurrected but we learn the dragon balls cannot bring back someone who died a natural death. (Hence why Goku in History of Trunks is screwed.) 

Goku just grows exponentially……there’s an explanation for his strength, because he’s a Saiyan. As you all know, there’s not much that can hurt them-that doesn’t mean they can’t die, though, because they do. The alien twist was brilliant and one I  did not see coming, but it explains why he can survive things humans can’t. 

As a contrast to that, Goku is definitely not pure, but innocent. His innocence does not win him friends, instead it leads to his death. He shows mercy to Raditz, bam, dead. He tries to show mercy to Vegeta who nearly kills him. He tries with Frieza and realizes he can’t be reasoned with. 

In the end, you see him mature tremendously. And then people say he’s a bad father…..well, half of the time he’s fighting off deadly enemies, half of the time he’s dead. Whenever the poor guy can spend time with his family, he’s there for them. Hell, the entire first episode of Z shows Goku saving his son and it shows he puts all his effort into his family and protecting them. 

He is also not a Sue because he had to train for years to become as good as he is.  He had to work for that in order to achieve the greatness that he reached. He is definitely not a Sue. 

Here we go to a character who is DEFINITELY a Marty Stu and everybody knows it, too…..NARUTO! I believe I’ve covered this pain-in-the-ass already but I will cover him AGAIN. 

First of all, unusual traits; whiskers. What does he do in the series? He’s supposed to be the main character, the hero we all root for…..and he’s an Expy of Goku, yet unlike Goku (who trains to the brink of death his whole life,) Naruto does nothing except goof off and play pranks for the first twelve years of his life. 

Great….you wanna tell me how he’s going to be a leader again? Besides that, while Goku was naive because of the fact that he was just a hick boy who knew nothing of the world and lived alone all his life, Naruto has no excuse to be as brainless and stupid as he is. He was taught all of these things in ninja school and yet he chooses to do the same thing, spam his shadow clones, rinse and repeat, regardless of whether or not it’ll work. 

He completely fails to understand anyone else’s point of view and refuses to listen to reason. In the beginning, people call him out on this, but then as it goes on, you realize Naruto gets that bad Marty-stu feel to him because he starts winning people over to his side (or brainwashing them) by lecturing them or beating them up, except for Sasuke, who I give kudos to. 

Of course, he praises the other Marty Stu, Itachi, completely overlooking the capital crimes he committed (murder, treason, physical/mental/emotional abuse), because as we all know, he was the perfect brother. 

Whenever Naruto has to do training or work, he goofs off or whines half the time. When he does learn things, he learns things unnaturally fast, and he’s usually shown no prior talent for these sorts of things, so it’s almost like the author just randomly threw them in there. The problem is, Naruto is just a huge God-mode Sue that Kishimoto feels he has to tip the whole plot over to Naruto, which means even if other characters are doing just fine in a fight, they have to back out because otherwise they’ll be shown up by Mr. Marty Stu, who without his plot device and Creator’s Pet tendencies, would definitely be dead. 

Then there’s another nasty thing about him; he gets away with every rude and immature thing that he does. Mind to tell me how he’s like Goku again? Goku knows how to fight; he’s a genius in it and has spent his whole life. He doesn’t fool around and does hard work. 

Naruto on the other hand, wins purely out of luck or coincidence. The only reason he gets through these fights is because he has a magical fox sealed inside him, which he manages to tame-despite the fact that it hates all humans. Oh, god, his Sueism is ridiculous. 

Oh, and the chosen one thing is so overused. 

I would like Naruto better if half of the things he preaches to people about-like “You should be working hard for your dreams, blah blah, blah! I’m Hokage…..blah blah blah…..” things like that; if he actually lived up to the things he brags about like the arrogant windbag he is.

Whenever people say Sasuke is arrogant, I gotta say…..who’s the arrogant one; the one who broods or the one who shouts out loud about how great they are and how much better they are than everyone else, believe it? Naruto is always the one who’s talking about how great he is and how hard he works. Yet when it comes to fights, he doesn’t do any work at all. He just stands there and gets his ass kicked, rarely, though it’s satisfying.

Clearly, Kishi needs a better protagonist because this protagonist drags the series down like a balloon that is deflating with his stupidity. I used to read the Naruto manga and think, “Okay, maybe I can overlook something stupid he says. Maybe I’ll eventually learn to like him. I can just see him evolving as a character.” 

But he doesn’t. He’s still the same obnoxious, pretentious, annoying windbag. It’s sad to see talented characters like Rock Lee, Hinata, Neji, and Sasuke…..I hate the fact that they all have to fall to the wayside because this blond idiot thinks he’s so great. And yet we have to listen to the manga praising him all the time. IT makes me sick to think about it.

Naruto is just an idiot through and through, probably one of the worst cases through and through of God Mode Sue. You wanna do a blond idiot who’s actually more flawed than he appears, do it right. Do it like Oz is done from Pandora Hearts. Sure, he first seems to be a Naruto expy, but then he turns out to have deeply rooted issues with himself, wondering if he can even exist or protect people. Those are deep questions and Oz pretends to be happy when he really isn’t.

He just becomes this multi-faceted character. Mochizuki Jun, unlike Kishimoto, is clearly superior in terms of character writing. She takes characters like Alice, Alyss, Lacie, Jack, and Echo and she shows you their good sides and bad sides, their worst secrets, their sorrows. They’re like people you could actually relate to and you enjoy reading it again and again because her characters are that good. They feel like real people; they’re not characters you shake your head in stupidity at. 

They feel like characters you’re rooting for, crying for. Perhaps Kishimoto ought to read PH. It would probably teach him a thing or two about writing characters. All readers should be questioning whether or not Naruto is suitable as a protagonist.

I’m a writer, okay? I have a story where multiple characters are the focus, not just one. Why? Because an author’s goal is to make all of them equal and not overlap each other. IF I have one overshadow the other, then suddenly that turns into a Sue, and I don’t want that to happen. So if you have questions, fire away!

 

 

 

*-When I use retarded, I mean no offense. I usually mean that these stories are done so badly that even retarded people wouldn’t like them. I am going to cover Nyuu/Lucy here, who is a harmful stereotype to retarded folks-trust me, most of the ones I know are nothing at all like her-they have manners, they’re polite, honest, and kind.

Hey, this is Shirotantei again. I’m here to bring you some of the worst anime I have ever seen. I know, I’ve already covered the worst anime characters-now I’m going to cover the worst anime.

There are some really good anime out there like Pandora Hearts, D.Grayman, Code Geass, FMA, Detective Conan, Death Note, Dragonball Z, and Madoka. Unfortunately, there can also be anime that are just not that good….they can have poorly written plots, sequels that are inferior to the originals, or have such huge plot holes that it’s absurd why no one points out their flaws.

There are ten of them on here. Some of them may end up being your favorites. The first one I’m doing is a childhood favorite of mine….Digimon. I absolutely loved Digimon as a kid. I loved Frontier, Tamers, and the first one. However, I place the third and fourth season ahead of the other two, because let’s just think: the first season was okay, and it wasn’t the best, but it was a good start to a good storyline, the characters were engaging, and likable. But unfortunately, the same cannot be said for Digimon Adventure Two.

10. Digimon Zero Two Image

You know what I hated about this series? I hate the fact that they practically took a likable cast of characters and shoved them aside in favor of some bland, generic main characters; Davis/Daisuke is a poor excuse for a protagonist who spends half of his time whining and moaning about everything, stalks Kari-don’t even get me started on Veemon, who cracks dumb jokes all the time and sounds like one of those guys off of The Sopranos; Yolei, the pseudo-dialect, and Cody, the boring emotionless wreck who sounds so unemotional that he seems like a robot rather than a human. Heck, even Kari and T.K. suffer in this.

These characters are bland and uninteresting-the worst part has to be the ending. Happy ending? How cheesy is that? Frontier’s ending was much better….and so was Tamers, as bad as the ending was.

The main villain is the Digimon Emperor, who is one-dimensional in every aspect. We’ve seen the whole kid sucked into the dark side in every season of Digimon *cough Jeri and Kouichi* cough and in every case, they were done well. Jeri had a troubled family life and had a mental breakdown-okay, that’s believable. Kouichi was just a lonely kid who wanted to meet his twin brother and got sucked into another world and was brainwashed to become evil. Pretty bad life, am I right?

Ken comes across as a whiny, annoying, emo boy who even Sasuke trumps at in being a good emo character. *rolls eyes.* Yes, this series is not my favorite-namely the fact that no one can evolve besides the stupid plot device of Armor-Digivolving. I give it a five out of ten. It could be good if it wanted to be, but it just sucks.

The other thing that’s bad about this series is that the main brave characters from Season 1 practically abandon their roles as Digidestined and ditch their Digimon without any further questions asked. OOC-ness is a bad factor in this show and it drags the whole series down with it. The next thing is one of their bad guys is a mummy. I’m really not kidding here. Oh, the ending I mentioned that is so bad it puts Tamers to shame? It consists of everyone getting Digimon and raising them. What the heck? Digimon is a separate world from the others. Tamers did a great job of portraying how Digimon in real life would affect people.

 

Yet another show that is loved by everybody but is just plain bad is the next one on our list.

9. Elfen Lied (Lynn Okamoto)

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Forgive my poor recoloring. Ah, yes, Elfen Lied, one of the stupidest anime I’ve ever seen about the life of a girl who suffers because she has these cat ears on her head and then based on the traumatizing event of being bullied in her childhood and losing a puppy to bullies, she kills people because of that one incident. Seriously, it’s as retarded as it sounds. No really, it is.

The main character is basically this killer who kills because of her supposedly bad childhood. First, she’s naive enough to befriend this girl who has the worst acting ever-and then while I was listening to the painful English dub, she sees her puppy die and then gorily murders everyone in the room-yay for violence!

But anyway, the worst part about this is Lucy herself. She’s engaging enough by herself-what really disappoints me is the fact that the author felt the need to insert constant nudity into this trainwreck of a plot.

Okay, so in the beginning she’s running away from these guys, and she is shot in the head, so they decide, for some unexplained reason, to give her a new personality, Nyuu-who only says “Nyuu” (anyone else think of Pokemon?)

She’s an idiotic bimbo who can’t control her bodily functions, gropes everybody and runs around everywhere without clothes. I guess her purpose was to make Lucy  look innocent, but that little scam doesn’t work-instead, she just looks like a spoiled brat. How is that good? It’s a poor excuse for humor and the fact that they want to use this character for humor purposes (oh yeah, because she’s totally not a walking stereotype of retarded people.) Seriously, the author has another character that has to wear a diaper all the time. Is this Elfen Lied, or is this the Rugrats?

Another thing that drags the drama down is the bad acting. Everyone in this story is abused; an overused trope. If done right, Abusive Parents* can be good, but if overused it becomes Narmy** and ridiculous. A girl is bullied by her dad because he doesn’t want her to sing. No, really, that’s her story. That is her whole story. She gets involved with Lucy and dies. The only two characters who were actually engaging in any way were Mayu and Kanae, two side characters.

Mayu suffers from sexual abuse, and her story is done well and pretty true to real life stories….especially made more painful by the fact that most parents usually won’t take the victim’s side and instead blame them; a common tactic used in abuse. Kanae is an adorable girl and Kouta’s sister who is sadly and horrifically murdered. I don’t care about spoiling because this series isn’t that great, anyway.

You know something; I know lots of people who are retarded/mentally challenged-whatever you want to call it-some of them are good friends, others acquaintances. I even had to work with some of them, and let me tell you something, they didn’t act like Nyuu. They knew enough about life to wear clothes, they were polite, they tried not to burden others if they could, they were nice and kind. They weren’t stupid enough to go and do the things Nyuu does-they know better. If I showed them this character, I’ll bet they would not be happy.

Believe me, some of them are the nicest, sweetest people you could ever meet. That’s why I’m ashamed to say Nyuu is retarded because she puts a bad mark on the people who aren’t like that, but unfortunately she is.

There’s Kouta, one of the stupidest characters ever; (more on the stupid characters a bit further down) and the plot holes in this are absurd, like how the heck does a girl have a crush on someone at age nine? That’s unrealistic to the core. They need to study little kids a bit more, because clearly their perspective of them is way off.

Bad characters, continued……

Nana is a whiny daddy’s girl, and then…..Yuka. Oh my god, she is by far one of the worst characters in this series.

I believe I discussed her before, but she is one of the reasons this show sucks. She has no development, has a creepy incestuous crush on her COUSIN-and at the end, it is strongly implied that they get married. Bleah. Her cousin does not try to stop her from doing these sick things. Japan, how can you support incest? I don’t care if it’s your cousin first-removed or cousin second-removed, incest is incest and it’s still morally wrong.

The worst thing about this show is this negative perception of humanity it has-it makes you think that all humans are evil scum who deserve to die a horrible death. Why watch something this cynical? We know not all humans are evil. This series thinks that any characters who die deserve death, regardless of what they did or didn’t do (R.I.P. Kanae, Kouta’s dad, Aiko, Kisaragi, random innocent passersby), thinks that people who hurt or kill animals deserve to die in painful ways, thinks a sociopathic serial killer is right for killing humans, and thinks that all parents are huge abusive idiots. Where are the loving parents?

True literature looks at humans as a mixture of Grey-and-Grey Morality, not Black-and-white. Like Oz said in Pandora Hearts, “There is no good or evil, there is only our will…..” True humans are not evil or good, they are shades of both and good literature makes characters that are good and bad equally.

The fans are creepy, too. Some of the YT comments say that the fans wish the children who killed the main character’s dog could be tortured a bit longer…..*shudders.* Well, either way, the plot is bad, the characters are bad, and everything about this show is twisted and messed up.

8. E’s Otherwise

Another example of a promising anime ruined by plot holes and poor timing; E’s is basically a rip-off of X-men and all of the old stuff you’ve ever seen-cliche storm, here we come-it’s about a psychic who is hunted by his group, Ashurum, for failing to complete a mission and after things happen that aren’t his fault,he ends up in the hands of strangers and has to examine everything he believes.

This organization specializes in rescuing people who are psychic like he is and he’s with a bunch of interesting characters like Shin’lu Belvedere and her moody brother-then when he discovers they’re not like that (the humans,that is) he has a mental breakdown. Unfortunately, they decide to throw away this interesting set of characters and instead throw him into a ragtag group of outcasts who are poorly utilized.

The worst one here has to be Asuka Tokugawa, a Mary-sue to the fullest-she can talk to animals and understand their feelings-check, she’s cute and everything she does is cute and everyone loves her-check-she has supernatural powers, check-she instantly wins over Kai-check.

She’s so freaking annoying; she stands there and cries instead of doing anything to help. The only interesting subversion to this is that she cannot cook.

Yuuki is another one who’s a poor ripoff of Gene Starwind from Outlaw Star, who is executed much better.

So, the plot is generic, but it does have its perks; okay, he’s trying to get home-that’s been done before, but at least they’re doing disillusionment, which is a nice twist-and then, here is where it gets bad. Well, Yuuki decides to put Kai to work, so what does he do? He crossdresses at parties and tries to arrest drug lords, rescues cats stuck in trees (I am NOT kidding here) and then they have a cooking contest-wait, author, what happened to the main storyline? What the hell happened? Did you smoke a bunch of dope while writing it-what happened to the main plot?

Then, it gets worse. Kai has to help out all of these kids and rescue them from an evil priest. It’s like the author forgot what the story was about and then just tossed in a whole bunch of stuff hoping no one noticed. It’d be like if in the middle of the Cell Saga, Toriyama decided to defeat Cell with the magic of love and friendship and then everything ends happily ever after-can you imagine what would have happened if he had done that?

He didn’t do that-he made all of them pretty engaging. Trunks, anybody?

7. Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood

Yes, I hate it. It is nothing like the original; This is yet another example of what happens when a sequel is produced by someone who doesn’t know anything about the main storyline- *cough PMD 2*

First, the animation is horrible. Second, there are too many jokes in every scene.

Edward even mocks himself for being short. What the hell? What happened to Edward getting ticked off about being called small? That’s his character trait. You throw that away, you’re essentially throwing that character away and making a new one. The humor is inappropriate at times and ruins serious scenes. The original anime did comedic episodes well and dramatic episodes well. They made sure to keep the comedy in line with the drama, but they made sure also to keep it so neither overlapped the other.

Third, they inserted Winry, the Mary-sue into everything. Wherever she goes, the plot reeks like a bad fart, so I decided to avoid her. Good for me, right? The worst part about this is that the new series doesn’t know how to balance good comedy and drama. The original knew how to do that, like I said before-neither overtook the other. DBZ did that pretty well. This series just can’t. It fails miserably at it.

Fourth, The fight scenes consist of them grunting and charging at each other. The end result is it looks less like a mature Japanese anime and more like a cartoony Looney Tunes thing. So when the series tries to do fight scenes, it ends up falling on its behind and looking ridiculous.

Fifth, they decided to follow the manga. The god-awful, boring manga I read and didn’t like. It was bad, it was unlikable. It was the first anime I watched that changed my feelings about the characters and the storyline. The manga almost turned me off to FMA. I liked that the first one was able to tell a good story. But this one can’t do that. It fails at everything.

But this was just….terrible. I only watched a few episodes before I couldn’t take it anymore.

6.Shugo Chara

I know a lot of people like this, but I don’t. It was poorly written….it was cliched.

5.Haruhi Suzumiya

I tried to get into this. I really, freaking tried. The fact that the heroine’s allowed to get away with blackmailing people, molesting the female heroine at every opportunity and does sociopathic things with no repercussion is just ridiculous, period. It’s stupid. Kyon is sometimes funny but bland, and the characters have no depth to them.

4. *sigh* Hetalia Axis Powers

I am more than prepared for all the flames I am going to get, but I HATE this series with a burning passion. So I heard everyone was liking this, so I decided to watch it. I only got into five minutes of it before I could stand it no more and threw it aside. “Whoa, was that the worst thing I ever watched?” Turns out, no it wasn’t, but it was pretty darned close to it. There are three others that are bad.

This one, I had to say, came quite close. First of all, it’s racist. Having these stereotypes about people like Americans being fat and conceited-wow, Japan, wow, way to show tolerance there. Why isn’t anyone upset about these stereotypes? This anime is racially insensitive, period. It’s one thing to do a show with Japanese or Chinese characters and flesh them out wonderfully, but to make them into one stereotype is absurd.

Second, the art is bad. This shows lack of effort, and the jokes are dumb. Why this anime is so loved by people, I cannot imagine. It’s crap….people, it’s crap. The excuse most people give for this is that it’s humor. Humor is not an excuse for lack of artistic talent in manga.

The most horrifying thing about this is that it completely glosses over the Holocaust. What, no mention of Hitler, Stalin, or Mussolini or the things they did? They don’t even cover the Jews or the things they suffered from. That’s horrible. Regardless of whether or not it’s a kid’s program, you’re covering HISTORY. You have to be historically accurate. A comedy series has no excuse for not being accurate to history. IF it wants to do a history lesson, you have to cover the facts.

For example, say if I happened to write a story about the Holocaust and it took place in the concentration camps, only they weren’t miserable places, they were places of happiness and love and kindness. The Germans held hands with the Jews and smiled at them and gave them food and the ghettoes weren’t run-down places and people weren’t killed but rather transported and everyone was happy. The workers would be smiling and working hard and wearing normal clothes.

Can you imagine the outrage that would hit me if I were to publish that as an actual story? People would be all over me for making a caricature of history, for mocking the way millions of people died without even covering it. Yet, this series does just that. It needs to respect all the people who died in the concentration camps. To not do so is extremely insensitive and racist and untruthful to history. You should be ASHAMED, author of Hetalia, for not including the Holocaust or including what Stalin did.

You’re telling children these lies. You need to tell the children what happened to the Jews and others, no matter how frightening it may be. History must be learned. Not only that, this fandom is ridiculous. They snap at anyone who doesn’t like this trainwreck of a show. The worst part is it’s taking over like a disease. I don’t understand what’s so great about it.

People take pairing with countries seriously. Dude, that’s not funny. Zero/10 for Hetalia.

3. Deadman Wonderland

Go read the Rossman’s review of Deadman Wonderland, because it’s so funny and painfully accurate about this series as a whole. This series is yet another example of what’s wrong with some anime. Don’t get me wrong, I like anime, but I dislike the cynical attitude it sometimes has about society as a whole. This is just an example of another mean-spirited story that makes all humans seem like jerks when it’s not even true.

So basically, the story is about this annoying character named Ganta whose entire class is planning a field trip and then they get murdered, then he gets blamed for the crime, despite the fact that he has no weapon, no motive, no evidence that he even wanted to kill his own classmates, he’s convicted and thrown into this prison where no one is nice. IS it just me, or is this author a misanthrope?

Seriously, every character in here is a scumbag. The main character is as flat as a rock. When I was watching this, I did not expect this show to be dead of everything. The plot is dead, the characters are dead (both in reality and in how they’re portrayed), the freaking locations are dead; everything about it is dead. There’s nothing alive about the plot; it’s like watching one of those B-movies on TV and laughing at the errors and wondering “Why did they make this again?”

It’s like an Ed Wood of anime. It’s that bad. People, don’t watch it. Every time someone watches this, their brain is fried.

2. The Empty Empire

Here’s another manga I tried really hard to get into, but it completely failed to sustain my interest. It starts off with this emperor Idea (lol, great name for a hero) who united the world and then he dies. Then there’s this boy named Rose who’s found who looks just like him. What kind of name is Rose for a boy?

There’s an interesting girl who’s the side protagonist. The protagonist has to get used to being treated like he’s someone else (not a bad plot to go with) and so he has no memories and he tries to get them back and then three or four chapters in, the author suddenly (and I mean, suddenly), decides to completely unwind the plot of figuring out who he is-instead of doing it in a masterful way like PH does (you know, making you like the characters, see their partial memories and only later figure out who they really are. She’s good at what she does, Mochijun is.)

The author just gives away what he is. It states plainly, “He’s a failed clone of the Emperor.” Really, baka? You actually didn’t have enough confidence in your story to make your character grow and develop and then learn who he is later, so you just toss it right in right away and act like you don’t care about it at all? Wow, that’s low. The worst part about it is the whole story takes a nosedive afterwards. Then he goes into an angsty state-PH does angst much better, folks.

Hey, I write. I wrote OC’s for my Pokemon story. I made plot twists for them about who they really were…..but I didn’t give it away within the first few chapters….I let the readers know the characters and then unraveled the twists. That’s a good author there.

Clearly, this author should not be writing manga.

1. Tie Breaker Crescent moon and Zyword

Crescent Moon is a Twilight rip-off with poor characters. Zyword is the worst; characters speak without being seen on the page, it ends on a flashback scene, the characters are generic, the plot is generic, and it makes no sense whatsoever. It’s just bad. Believe me, people, do not watch these anime. They are bad.

Prepare for the flame war!!!!

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